Battle Cry of the Formerly Lazy

I've been pondering this post for quite a while now; possibly a year or more. It's in response to the thoughts some people express online and I know that more harbor in their dark, inky hearts. Those thoughts are along the lines of, "We get it! You went for a run. We're all proud of you but apparently not as proud as you are of yourself. Shut up!" 

The problem is this: we are proud of ourselves. Very. I would guess that 95% of the people who post about their workouts on FB have historically not been regular exercisers. Their lazy days may have been a long time in the past, and maybe now they love working out regularly, but that doesn't mean that it's easy to do every day. That doesn't mean that there isn't still a lazy, wheezing, overweight kid in the back of their minds, trying to get them to just sit down and watch TV instead of going to the gym. (For a great perspective on this, read Matthew Inman's Oatmeal entry about why he runs.)

When I started writing this post a long time ago, I had pictures of charts ready to go showing how much I'd exercised that week and how that was such a miraculous change from my past. I had to remove them because now my charts would look like janky hammocks strung between the days when I had the time and inclination to lift or run. When my kids were in school, they'd ask me what I did during the day while they were gone. I'd tell them that I ran or went to the gym, and they'd say, "Well, duh! You do that every day!" It filled present me with joy and high school me with shock to hear that. I couldn't believe how much I'd changed my life. I had changed my body so much that, even though I wasn't skinny, I didn't gain back any weight that I had lost after 6 weeks in Michigan last summer, barely working out and eating all the food of my youth. My body makeup had altered.

Just eating thimbleberries wouldn't have been bad, but thimbleberry jam on nisu, on ice cream sundaes, etc!!!

Now I'm back to the sluggo days. With the stress of preparing to move and then getting here and finding a place to live, my workouts have been very sporadic. I'm back out of shape and have to basically start over with strength and endurance, especially in the Hawaii humidity. My right leg really doesn't enjoy running, even though my heart and mind do, so I have to find other cardio. Last week, I decided that it was going to be jumping on the trampoline. Which sucks. I didn't make have time to do it over the weekend after that first time, but I did do it yesterday. IT SUCKED. I'd rather go on a walk for twice, heck, thrice! as long. But I did it. I know it will get easier eventually. I set that stupid timer on my phone and I freaking jumped until it was done. I was very proud of myself. So, yeah. I posted about it this time, too, but on twitter.

Another thing you need to know is that, for the most part, the running/biking/racing/lifting/gym rat/whatever community is VERY supportive. When runners pass each other on the trail, they give each other a thumbs-up or even say "Good job. You got this," especially if they see someone struggling. If you've ever participated in Team in Training, you will forever shout, "Go Team!" when you see anyone in a TNT shirt working out. So, even if someone does tons of races or has been naturally skinny their whole lives, they're usually trying to encourage others rather than shame them.

We all know that we need encouragement and accountability, so that's another reason people post about their work. You're likely to see someone post on FB that they're going to work out later so that they can't punk out and certain buddies will ask them if they did it. A friend posting, "Just did an easy 10 miles," might make me want to vomit because I have never called 10 miles easy, but it will also get me off the couch just like someone posting, "Just did a crappy, slow mile, but I did it," will get me off the couch.

So take it easy on our fitness posts, okay? Unless you're friends with the cast of the Jersey Shore, people aren't trying to simply show off. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to jump on the crap-o-line AND do a bodyweight workout tonight. I don't want to, but I will. And I'll be real proud of myself if
when I do.

Grateful for the Year

It's January 1st, and I haven't blogged in months, so of course I'm going for it today. I saw a video about this project called 365grateful, and it moved me. The woman talks about how just looking for one thing every day to be thankful for changed so much: her appreciation of nature, her kids, God, and the way she looked at her husband.

I've tried the daily blogging before, and it worked for a while. I'm not expecting to keep it up every day, but the goal will keep me writing more than without it.

Today has been a rough day. Even though we didn't party last night, we were all up late and we're all tired. There are four days left until the kids go back to school, and I'm nearing the end of my fuse. So seeking out something specific to be grateful for and write about was important to me.

I wanted to go for a very short run, and the kids needed to get some energy out, so we all went across the street to the park. I ran with the dog, and Seth stayed with the kids while they played.

When I came back, they were playing with two boys, running, dragging each other, and throwing a Frisbee. I'm thankful for the energy and spirit of my kids, even on the days when I'm afraid it's going to kill me. I'm thankful for their openness and ease in making friends, even if they never find out their names or follow any sort of manners or adult-recognizable social code in the process.

Thankful

Here's a copy of my latest post from ye ole training blog:

 Since about July 2011 through now, I haven't been doing a ton of running due to one injury or another. First there was some wicked tendonitis on the tops of my feet. I saw a sports podiatrist who gave me some exercises to do & I also got custom inserts. Hooray.

With the exercises & some rejiggered Super Feet inserts, I made it through the Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in San Jose on 10/3, but it wasn't pretty. I was still in a lot of pain & hadn't been able to train enough to make it a good race. I finally got my custom inserts at the end of October. On the 27th, I was going for my first run with the inserts. I was on a trail that I knew, it wasn't hard, and I wasn't pushing myself too hard, but when I went to dodge a pothole, while my foot was still in the air, I felt a pop in my knee. There was no running back to the car at all. I thought I had torn something, but an MRI showed no tear, so I just went to physical therapy for a few months.

It seems that the foot issues & the leg/back/knee issues I've had over the years are all related (who knew?), so I was actually glad to be addressing things, hoping I'd nip it all in the bud. It has taken a lot longer than I wanted it to or expected, and things aren't as perfect as I'd hoped, but I'm getting there. If I had needed surgery, it would have been at least 6 months of recovery afterwards.

I've slowly moved from elliptical only (barf) with no resistance, to some resistance, to taking "brisk" walks outside or on the treadmill with bursts of fast walking. It has been almost 6 months since the knee pop, and I ran for the first time 2 days ago. I haven't been to physical therapy in about 2 months, and my therapist told me not to even think about running until I had been pain-free for a month, but I just couldn't quite do it. I'd say I had a couple weeks pain-free (meaning no "Oh, my Lord! My knee is going to break!" moments or days where I just want to ice my knee, have Seth rub it, and I cry), but then had another "Oh, crap!" day. But I've been doing little pre-running things like jumping and just barely-not-running times in my walks on the treadmill, so I thought it was time. A little competition (even in my own mind) doesn't hurt, either. I ran into some people I knew at the gym the other day, so of course, I wanted to run instead of just walking on the treadmill.

So after a warm-up and a few rounds of 4.2 mph walking, I decided to try the jog. Just 4.3 for 30 seconds. And it was great. I walked for 3 more minutes then decided to try it again. I wasn't hurting, so I planned on just repeating that for a while. It was VERY difficult to not push it too far, so I kept telling myself what I needed to do and that I do NOT want to be injured again/longer. I focused on my stride, being sure my feet weren't rolling, I wasn't pounding, and I crouched a tiny bit, while still keeping my torso long. I did end up shortening my walk breaks to 2.5 minutes, but I stayed at 30 seconds of running. I did that until I had about 5.5 minutes of running total, then I noticed that I was at 2.9 miles. Well, I might as well do a 5k, right? Of course. So, I may have been dumb. I ran out the last .2 miles, which ended up being 2 minutes, which may have not been the smartest thing I've ever done, but it didn't come back to bite me.

So, 7 minutes or so of running out of 50, and I felt good. My knee was definitely sore and very stiff, so I've been icing & stretching a lot. Yesterday, I just went on the stationary bike for 30 minutes or so. My knee was definitely stiff, but the bike didn't really hurt. Then today, I did an outside run for the first time in almost 6 months. The dog & I walked down to the creek, and I let myself run for 30 seconds at a time for only 3 minutes total, with 3 minutes of walking between runs. Oh man, was it hard to not do more, but I am really trying to be smart about this. I wanted to run more, but I was outside and it didn't hurt, so I'm happy. The tendons on the back of my knee were pretty tight, but no sharp pain or real aching.

I've signed up for The Color Run on July 14th, and I wasn't sure if I'd be walking or running, but I think I'll be running, which is a lovely thought. I'm going to find a good training plan and stick with it, so I hope that I can do a half this fall and actually get a PR. If I'm smart & listen to my body, I'm pretty sure I can do this. Here's to trying to get into Nike this year!

A break

It has been raining for days, so today when it stopped for a bit, I took the dog out for a walk that we both needed. The rain coupled with a very long cold I had has gotten me back out of the habit of regular exercise, and I hate that.

Since trying to become a runner, I feel like nothing I do is good enough. I need to do everything more often, faster, don't stop, do it better, you suck. When I take the dog for our half-hour walk, I'm still thinking about walking a bit faster to take some time off, or running a bit, or doing farther. I think about what my running friends are doing that day and I consider myself a joke.

I spend too much of my life thinking I'm not good enough and need to change. Too much time feeling guilty.

On today's walk, I was trying to walk quickly, and I glanced out the corner of my eye, thanked God for the beautiful hills, and almost kept going. But I made myself stop, turn and look at the green, and stand there for a minute, doing nothing. That's when I realized all this crap. Well, re-realized some of it.

This was heavier & longer than planed, and I'm sorry. I'm mostly in a very good place right now; today is just off. Lack of sleep.

I've been lax in my writing exercises

But not in my physical exercises, I can assure you.
Nor in my homework duties.
You see, I've just been burnt out these past 2 weeks from class.  30 hours of class in two weeks + 1200 pages of reading + my other class reading & homework + figuring out paper topics + searching/buying/checking out books for said papers.

Thus?  My brain is mush when I get home and I haven't felt like turning the computer on and blogging at night.  I'm sorry.  I don't apologize to you, because I know you're cool with it, but I apologize to my future self and its writing abilities.

To celebrate diminished brain powers and lack of writing finesse, I shall pretend that this blog is my twitter feed and just blurt out some of my thoughts.  Enjoy!

• I'm reading Chi Running and worked on my form a little bit yesterday.  Well, a lot.  A planned 30 minute, light run to work on form turned into an hour and a half or so of being lost, being hot, having to poop, worrying about the dog, backtracking, resting in a park, and finally asking for directions.  My time was still pretty good, though, and I'm not very sore today, so I think the form worked.
• I think I'm going to do my first paper on Manifestations/Representation/? of the Trinity in The Chronicles of Narnia. So, I'm kind of skimming my way through them right now.  
• My right butt cheek hurts.
• I'm glad to be back in Sonoma County after being away for all of this week and most of last week.
• We didn't have the DVR set to keep more than one episode of So You Think You Can Dance, so we have to watch Wednesday's ep online, but I already know who went home on Thursday.
• You know what my 4 bookcases look like, yes?  Well, I currently also have 7 books on the back of the couch, one on the end table behind me, one pile of 13 on the kitchen table, another pile of 5 on the table, 6 on top of the bookcase in the kitchen, and I returned 8 to the library earlier.  Almost all of the books mentioned were/are for school.  
• I'm really really in the mood to go to Southern California.  Hmmm...one more...
• I love my life:  being in school, being in ministry, being in California, being in love, being in shape.  It's all good.

Finally!

Friends, that wasn't a long book (the one I talked about yesterday), but I just couldn't finish it quickly.  But, done it is.  Now I can listen to my lectures & write my essays for the week.

Tonight, I'm seeing Eclipse (3rd Twilight movie, in case you've been living under a rock), and I'll be going early to try to ensure that I get a seat somewhat near my friends.  Since I'll be there about an hour and a half early, I'll be taking Sea Glass with me, and I may finish it.  Well, maybe not.  I'm really enjoying it and don't want it to be over, since the next one doesn't come out for a few months.  I do have C.S. Lewis to read, though, so I can always do that, but it's nice to have some fantasy to escape into.

I also have Chi Running on the way from the library, and that should be interesting.  My problem with that, though, is that I'll feel like I really need to pay attention and read a little at a time to incorporate what it tells me. 

I've been a reading fiend lately, but that's totally okay with me.  I think I'm also going to put Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into the rotation, because I've only read it once and the preview for the movie made me all goose-bumpy and excited. 

Cheers!

Surprise!! It's the first day of school!

I thought I had another week until the summer quarter began, but I was wrong.  I realized I was wrong when I received an e-mail reminding me that payments were due today.  Uh...crap.
No worries on the money, though.  I do a payment system, so I don't need to pay until July. 
On the other hand, I wasn't prepared to start reading for class and figuring out all my online stuff.  This class is all done online, with the lectures (videos, thank goodness) and handouts, message boards, exams, etc all done on a website.  So, I had to go through a boring orientation-type thing, which mostly told me things I could have figured out on my own, but there were a few good points. 

So, I feel a little stressed today, but I think I'm mostly over it.  I was partially feeling scrambled, because it was, "Crap! How am I going to start reading for the C.S. Lewis class? How am I going to finish The UltraMind Solution before it's due in 3 days?  How am I going to spend time on ancestry.com before I have to pay again? AGH!"

Then I calmed myself. I poked around on the message boards and "met" the other people in my class, introduced myself, and then I went for a run.  I will remember that making time to work out always pays off.  After the run and a trip to get fruit & veggies, I am home & calm.  I've started reading for this class, and I'm already digging on it.  I also remind myself that everything doesn't have to be done TODAY.  If I keep with my 3 hours of homework per day regimen, I will be totally fine.  And I also get to read for fun when I budget well like that. 

My class is on issues of gender and sexuality that occur in ministry, and it seems like it's going to be great and right up my alley.  We'll be talking about things that I'm passionate about and that are relevant to my church experience, such as dealing with pastoral indiscretion. 

In the book by the professors, Authentic Human Sexuality, I'm only about 20 pages in (to the wrong edition, grrrr. and there is a difference), but I'm already impressed.  One of the first things they talk about is hermaphroditism and gender assignment at birth, and the need for a space for gender-neutral persons.  Wow.  Not what I expected, even though I go to a liberal school.  I guess I still expected the Christian writers to, I don't know, talk about people cursed by God that we need to pray for. 

Don't worry, I didn't order the wrong edition of the book (I hope).  It's just not here yet, so I'm reading the previews on Amazon & Google books. 

Hasta mañana.

Magazines and Nametags

Today was a lovely day spent with my sister.  We both slept in quite late, then got ourselves ready to do some running around.  First, we went over to ADI and played with the 3 litters of puppies that are there, including 3 teeny, tiny pups just born via c-section two days ago.

We then went by the library where I picked up Storm Glass, by Maria V. Snyder, the last week's EW, and Perelandra, which I'll be reading for class. I also returned a book that I thought I returned, but Seth found it in my car after I filed a "claim returned" at the library.  Oh, well. 

Then, we had a great time at the park.  We moseyed around a bit, then I had a great 1/2 hour run while my sister moseyed on her own.  We both stood in the lake for a while, then got b.o.g.o. burritos for dinner.  Ahhhh, good day.

Tonight was the kick-off for Big Time, our yearly, week-long party for the junior high students at church.  Last year, I was a small group leader, but I decided to pass on that this year.  I don't like corralling and having to discipline more and keep students in line, which is why it bothers me so much when my high school girls are overly-wacky.  So, this year, I'm working in registration, which is a breeze.  I sit in the back office with some of my favorite students while they put kids' info into the database & make nametags.  I, then, have the fabulous job of cutting the nametags out and putting them into lanyards.  It's a rough job. 
Of course, I also got to help put garbage bags over all the chairs in the sanctuary, since many of the kids were going to be quite wet and/or dirty from the insane games they were playing. 

I'm going to keep trying to just borrow EW from the library and not subscribe again.  I just love magazines.  I did, in fact, subscribe to Rolling Stone since I got an offer of 6 months for $1.  I don't necessarily care to read about music that much, but my love for magazines will carry me through.  I also got a free subscription to Christianity Today, which I have also had on and off over the past few years. 

Ah, magazines.  Such an excellent way to have little snippets of entertainment when I need it.

Hasta mañana.