Boom boom God God King Boom Boom

Find a word you know how to spell and stick with it.

'Tis the 2nd day of the year and I am grateful. Sleep was no more kind to me last night than the night before, so by this evening I was feeling desperate for something to be thankful for. Not that it wasn't a nice day, because I was outside and walked 4 miles with my kids and one of their friends. That was...pleasant from time to time. Also extremely annoying. But I live somewhere beautiful where it's not too cold to go for a long walk in short-sleeves in January. Huzzah! But being with three 3rd graders for a few hours can make this new mom a bit "Hulk Smash!" at the end of the day. But But But

Thankfully, my kids are adorable. They both wrote songs and performed them for me. H's song had lots of hand movements: that last BOOM really gets thrown at you. It's powerful. B's song had lots of God and maybe two notes. He's a tender little monkey. They're both creative and loving and not shy. It can be a lot of fun.

I almost feel a little barfy/overly touchy-feely by having two days in a row be thankfulness about my kids. Even after 2.5 years, this whole Mom thing hasn't completely settled into my skin yet, but that's what this project is about. I'm taking a look at things in my life and really noticing them. Noticing what makes me happy, how much they're worth, and how I'm being changed.

Rawr & stuff

I cried at a Katy Perry song yesterday. This song:



You see, my kids love Katy Perry. They're 8, so it's perfectly normal. They've sung "Firework" at school, making up different lyrics a la Madlibs. The first time they heard this song, they loved it. I tolerated it. I kept thinking, "I'm not going to buy it, because I don't need to buy every song they like. I already got 'Firework' and I don't love this song." But that's the weird thing about being a parent: your kids like something & you often end up liking it because they do. It makes them happy & that makes you happy. So I kept leaving it on.

I started thinking about the lyrics and my kids a week or so ago. I had explained to them before that it may have been about her divorce and how she was being strong again, but then I realized that it was an empowering song in general.

Listen, I try to avoid using words like "empowering" if I don't absolutely have to, but my kids need empowerment. They have been through PILES of shit in their short lives already, and I'm working really hard to help them grasp how awesome they are & the potential that they have; to get them away from a victim mentality.

So that's there the tears came in. On our two-minute drive to church yesterday (if we were better at getting ready on time, we'd walk), this was on the radio (What?! *shock*) and I started telling H that she and her brother should make this song their own. That was fine, but that afternoon, when I went ahead and bought it, I started to play it for them and just started weeping while trying to explain my thoughts to them. After being a little confused, I think they got it. Life and specific people have pushed them down. A LOT. But they are champions. Kids are the best at taking things literally and latching onto ideas, so I really hope that this sticks with them. Not the crying part, unless that just constantly reminds them of how much their totally awesome mother adores them, but the tiger/fighter/champion part. And not the emoticons. And let's stay away from Katy Perry's gender issues and candy bras. Let's just stop here.

Oh, I do that.

Oftentimes, when people watch musicals they think, "Who does that?  Who bursts into song for no good reason?"  I think this all the time, too.  I'm really not a very big fan of musicals because I find them quite painful.

But I do burst into song for no good reason.  I sing about dinner, I sing to my husband (yes, he sings back), and today I sang about brushing my teeth.  I am one of those people. 

The difference is that I don't have serious conversations in song.  No marital spats, theological debates, or really anything that would take stomping, furrowing the brow, or pointing a finger while doing either of those things.  I am not Jean Valjean (24601).  I don't comfort my friends with heartfelt ballads about the pain they're going through.  (Okay, maybe I'd do this, but only to get a laugh out of them at the right time.) 

Perhaps I'm in a light-hearted musical about daily, domestic life.  I'll watch out for my dogs secretly practicing synchronized moves to complement my twirls and flourishes. 

Baby Steps

As you may or may not know, I spend entirely too much time online.  Really, I spend entirely too much time in this here green, corduroy chair.  So, after using online timers and a variety of site blockers, I have taken the step of putting my computer in the dining room.  Since it's less comfy, I don't want to spend as much time there, and when I need to do homework, I have more room and can concentrate more.

Now, it's a laptop, so you'd think that this isn't that strong of an incentive to stay on task, but it's working.  I set up space at the table, and I leave my cord in there, so that if I want to spend a long time on the computer, I'll have to sit there.  Sure, I can bring the thing in here for a while, but I won't bring the cord, which shortens the length of my stay in cyberspace.

But, Robin, you say, couldn't you just turn off your wireless?  Yes, and I can also turn it back on.  Besides, I can find all sorts of creative ways to spend time on the computer that don't necessarily involve facebook or twitter.  The latest time-sucker?  Mint.com coupled with Dave Ramsey's FPU budgeting tools online.  We have a lot of money this month, so I've been doing a lot of fiddling with the budget.  "Oh, well now this came."  "But this isn't realistic.  I'll make a normal month's budget."  "Oh, but this should be tweaked."  "Ooh!  You can split up the Costco bill into different categories!" 

Hours of fun. 

Even before this foray into money wrangling, I could spend, oh, two hours easily fiddling with music.  Listening to recommended music, searching for new music, downloading free songs, listening, rating, converting (from mp4), deleting, making playlists, adding and removing music from my mp3 players (one for regular listening, including podcasts, and one for exercise, including techno). 

I've actually had to stop downloading music for the past month or so, because I just don't have time to listen to it all.  I realized yesterday that I had downloaded the entire catalog of one indie label early this year, and I had yet to listen to one song.  So, I'm slowing down.  I just looked, and I have 799 unrated (meaning I've never listened to them) songs on my laptop (that I've only had since August).  You see my problem. 

So, in the grand scheme of time-wasting, you can see that a small step like having to sit at the table to work will make a big difference. 

The Swell Season

Verily, I say unto you, I have never been to a better concert than The Swell Season, November 20th, Paramount Theatre, Oakland, CA.  I hadn't listened to the new CD, Strict Joy, so had worried a bit that the show may be slightly boring, based on their single, "In These Arms," which is quite mellow and quiet.  I wanted to go, though, since I love the music from Once so very, very much.  I warned Seth that it may just be a concert where we are a little snoozy, but we hear beautiful music, so it's "nice."

Oh, I was so wrong. As soon as Glen & Mar came on stage, I was ridiculously happy.  There is something magical (yes, I said, "magical") about hearing in person music that you love so much, especially when it's from a movie.  It feels extra-special or strange to see the people & hear the songs.  So I was grinning like an idiot and felt, well, buoyant when they started singing.  "In These Arms" was touching and lovely, and was already a little teary during, "If You Want Me," which was the 2nd song.

They sang the first few songs sitting on the ground together, then she went over to the piano, and he eventually brought out his band, The Frames, who I also love.  As you may know, but I had forgotten, things are always a little more loud and rowdy in person, so even the slower songs were more powerful live, and they were definitely rocking sometimes.

For a small set, the guys from The Frames and Marketa left the stage, and Glen stood there with his holey guitar you saw in the movie and sang an acoustic set for us. Oy.  That's all I can really say.  Oy.  He started singing "Say It To Me Now," behind the mic, but quickly stepped out and just belted it from the front of the stage, and I seriously wept the whole time. (It's a short song.)  The man is amazing. 

Aside from being rollicking and emotional and powerful, it was also a really fun and intimate concert.  The theater seats about 3000 people, so it wasn't too big.  Glen interacted a ton with us in the audience, telling funny stories, encouraging us to sing along ever louder, and even taking a few questions and requests.  They did "Falling Slowly" during their encore, which ended up being 4 songs, I believe, including an old blues/folk song that we all had to sing.

Their U.S. tour is almost over, but I highly encourage you to watch Once if you haven't, buy all their music, check out The Frames and buy their music, and see The Swell Season next time they're near you.

Monthly Check-In

Good golly, I haven't written here at all this month! Happy October, friends. It's my birthday month.

The month has been a bit odd. Not bad, but just off slightly. It started with Seth out of town. He went to Houston to be with his family and to see Metallica without me. sigh. At least his brother loved the concert enough that he bought tickets for the show in December out here, and I get to go!

The whole time Seth was gone, and up until today, too, I've been sick. Not any sort of horrible, flu, oh-I'm-going-to-die sick, but, possibly, one of the most annoying illnesses I've had. For over two weeks now, I've had headaches and nausea that ebb and flow. Quite frustrating. So, while I can pretty much carry on with life as usual, I'm not myself. I'm tired, and I'm in pain. I did go to the doctor to make sure I don't have a tumor or anything, and the nurse said it's some sort of viral syndrome. She also mentioned that I should go back if it kept going for 14 days, but I haven't done that. It's not quite as constant as it was before, so I figure it's slowly leaving. I'm done catering to it.

So, Seth was gone, and I lazed about and didn't eat a full meal once while he was gone. I had an excellent walk/run with some friends over two weeks ago, then my legs got very angry with me and I decided to see a massage therapist to work on them. I've seen her three times now, and I really think she's making a big difference in my shins. I'm going to give running a try today at the gym, so I'll let you know.

Seth got home the morning of Stephanie & Ken's wedding, but we thought we had plenty of time. For months now, I was certain that the wedding was at 3pm. So I picked Seth up, we stopped at a couple stores on the way home, and happily dealt with San Francisco traffic. Once home, we were very much looking forward to a quick nap before the wedding, especially because Seth had been up all night. Before said nap, I decided to look at the invitation again just to make sure I had the time right. The time was 12:52, and the wedding was at 1:30. Oof.
Thankfully, we were both able to look adorable in a timely manner. That's how we roll.

The wedding was lovely. It was much more formal than I'm used to in a high church sort of way. Though it didn't feel very personalized, it did feel holy and special in a way that most weddings do not. There was a lot of scripture and reading of things together; lots of mention of Jesus. It really presented the marriage as something sacred and serious, and that was great.

The reception was beautiful, but cold. It was a cool, windy day, and we were outside. By the time dinner was being served, I had jeans on under my dress, Katie had temporarily borrowed a coat from one of Steph's lovely co-workers, and I had also doled out sweatshirts for Sara and Jenny to put over their arms. With both Seth and I being so tired, and I wasn't feeling good anyway, we left during the groom-mom dance. Asleep o'clock was 10:30. It was fabulous.

On my birthday, we started our new small group Bible study, and it was great. Our new-ish friends made fajitas for dinner, got me a gift card to Outback (in a Twilight card with an Edward bookmark!), and an ice cream cake. They really went too far, but I felt so loved. They are really great and I look forward to getting closer with them and knowing them in the Bible study context.

And as if that wasn't enough, I had a spur of the moment girls' weekend with the friend who introduced me & Seth! She's got quite the full plate in her life right now, and needed a getaway, so she flew out from TX and requested WINE!! We had a lovely time in SF and Sonoma, and it was good to spend time together.

Other than that? Hurt my knee driving around. I'm currently babying that. Taught at the college group for the first time, and that was great. I ended up connecting with someone that I never thought I would, so that was a God thing. High school group going great, class is awesome, and we're going to Yosemite for 4 days next weekend!

Next post won't be so diary-like, I swear.

Here, let's make this easier:

I don't like live music.
I don't like poetry.
I don't like short stories.


There. Are these 3 things absolutely true 100% of the time? No. There are plenty of bands I want to see- but almost never in an "intimate" setting (I detest live music in restaurants, bars, or coffee shops); there are plenty of poems I find beautiful, but I don't really want to read that many that other people find or like; and short stories, well, there are actually very few of those that I enjoy that weren't written by Neil Gaiman.

In conclusion: These are good rules of thumb for interacting with me. Know them, love them, good friends, of course, can test me on them from time to time with little negative repercussions.

CHIC

This is the first of 2 posts about my 2 weeks of mayhem. Both were great, but there's a lot to tell. The next post will cover our vacation.

Week 1: CHIC (Covenant High In Christ)- the triennial youth conference for our denomination. This was my first time attending, and it did not disappoint. Well, I would have liked to bond a little bit more with my girls, but oh well.

We all had our fabulous matching t-shirts at the airport bright & early on Saturday morning, so that we could more easily keep track of our group of 42. (This picture was taken on our last day, waiting for the flight home. Thanks, Susie.) The CHIC logo is the weird yellow thing, so our staff designed PacMan themed shirts because of the resemblance.

After hanging out at the airport for quite a while, we boarded our plane to Nashville, with all of us taking up the rear of the plane. I was in the very back row with a girl who had never flown before and one of my sweet girls who brings nothing on flights with her because she wants to talk. (And I complain about not bonding!) We tease each other about that.

We rented minivans in Nashville & spend the night in town, taking over a local restaurant for dinner, followed by the swarming of the hotel pool. The next day, we drove to Knoxville, which was a beautiful drive to a cute town.

We stayed in dorms, which were fine. All the kids roomed together, and adults roomed together. That was nice. The campus is HUGE and Tennessee is HOT, so there was weight loss, for sure. Lots of sweating and walking. Even at 8 in the morning, we were sweaty. I love the South, but I'm glad I live in CA where there's dry heat.

Each day consisted of breakfast in a nearby dorm, followed by 2 group sessions somewhere else on campus dealing with the topics of relating to yourself, to God, to the World, and to Others. Most of them were very good. One dealt with faking it and putting on masks, another was a great worship session that felt very real & jam-like. Another had an exercise about judging people that was good, and there was also a day educating us on human trafficking (there is a LOT of it. Seriously).

The afternoons were filled with free time for the kids to do anything they wanted, including a number of excursions. There were sports tournaments of all kinds, chess, crafts, swimming, water slides, bowling, bands playing outside. It was great. I mostly wandered with Susie (blue tank top on the left above), and sometimes tried to take a nap. One day, though, I did run into town (really, I ran. It was hot.) to buy Harry Potter tickets, as it opened the Wednesday we were there. That afternoon, 20 of us walked/ran into downtown Knoxville to watch the movie, which was a lot of fun. Another afternoon, I went white water rafting with Susie & 3 of the girls, which was great. I had never done it before, and we had a lot of fun, especially laughing at one of our girls falling out of the raft.
The evenings were dinner in the dorm, then Main Stage, which was at the arena. About 8000 people gathered for concerts, worship, and speakers. All the speakers were very good, but I believe that Shane Claiborne was the best, and the kids loved him, too. After you look at his site, you'll say, "Of course you loved the commune-living hippie, Robin!"

We also saw the David Crowder Band, which was more fun than I expected; Flyleaf, which was very loud and I took too long to start dancing and get into it; Israel Houghton & New Breed, which I loved due to nostalgia for his leading worship at Lakewood; and Third Day, who I liked and respected much more than I thought I would do. Also, on the first night, the daughter of our speaker, Erwin McManus, played with her band, Glare of Rockets, which is my new favorite band. (When you listen on myspace, know that live her voice didn't feel so sweet & they were much more dark & wall-of-sound feeling. She's like a mixture of Paramore & Mazzy Starr.)

Some of our students won the short film contest, and the video doesn't appear to be his youtube page, so I'll post it later. It was pretty funny. People learned, cried, bonded, grew. It was good. We were at Main Stage until at least 11pm every night, and ate pizza every night after. Got about 6 hours of sleep or less, sweated, trekked, had a good time. I got a foot massage in the airport before our departing flight, which was lovely. I'll definitely go again, but hopefully, a bunch of us won't get sick next time.

Spinning along

"Rock Lobster" is a really great song for the stationary bike. Probably good for real biking, too. Keep with the beat, go crazy at the crazy parts, slow down when it does. A most excellent 7 minutes.

I never claimed to be quick on the uptake.

I finally noticed that my car's antenna wasn't extended, so I pulled it out yesterday.
Voila! Radio stations! It's only been 11 months that I've had the car.


I will write more soon. I've had passing thoughts, but not the time nor energy to expand upon them.

Augustana's "Boston"

I really like this song quite a lot. Part of it is the soothing quality it has and the fact that it talks about California, even if the heroine in the song is tired of California, but what I really appreciate is the quality of the lyrics and the picture they paint. I don't know about you, but I can totally see everything the song is talking about and I can extend the story they tell and actually visualize the girl and what she looks like, how she feels- as if the song is a movie itself. And I'm writing this without having watched the video yet, so I'll see if it fits my vision of the song.

*eta- I just watched the video and it has no story. So just listen to the words or stare at the semi-handsome man playing the piano in the surf.

Classic Rock Gene

I've been wondering if there is something genetic about liking classic rock. Maybe a gene that gets turned on as you age, as your cells decay, the desire for smooth male harmonies and screechy guitars increases.

I have always categorically detested classic rock- Led Zeppelin was the only exception because they are their own category- but my resistance seems to be wearing thin and this annoys me. Yesterday, while in the car, the opening notes of "Wheel in the Sky" came on and I actually thought, "Hmm. Good I'll leave it." I left it, and I sang. And I was frightened.

Admittedly, I was desperate- San Francisco really doesn't have any good radio stations for a big city, but it's not the only time that I haven't immediately kept scanning when faced with something my parents would have loved for most of their young adulthoods.

There is a series of lines, though, that will alert me to my continued decline, should I require an intervention. First stage is ZZ Top. That stage is pretty far along, but my husband is aware and will know to be worried the day I let ZZ Top stay on the radio. Next comes Bob Seger, and the last stage- the one where you know that I will never be coming back- that stage is AC/DC. Let's pray that it doesn't get that far.

Late to the party

Now, it's not entirely my fault, because I had never actually heard her before, but I justnow discovered Nina Simone and now I get it! Wow. It's just something about her voice that immediately grabs me. Again- wow. I know- I've wasted all these years not listening to her. I'm a stupid human being that just became the tiniest little bit more Real Girl.

I'm inspired by James Hetfield to finally write.

Yes! I finally downloaded some Metallica so that I can actually hear them once in a while, and I am very happy about it. You see, I really don't listen to the radio often, since I don't have a car, and you would not believe how difficult it is to just friggin' hear Metallica when I do happen to have the car. You would think that they weren't the biggest rock band in the world or something.

We had an excellent Thanksgiving weekend, with lots of loafing in front of fireplaces, watching movies with family, and the requisite eating, drinking, and being merry.

There, I put "Wherever I May Roam" on repeat so that the inspiration can continue...

Husband stubbed his toe on a turkey leg last night, so that is exciting. He also has been interviewed for a temporary transfer (1 year) to Phoenix, so we're waiting to hear about that. I'm not exactly doing cartwheels about living in the fastest-growing city in the country, but at least it's hot. I do think that I'll like being in the desert for a spell. We'll see what God has in store for us!

Okay, I just looked, and Phoenix is actually the 4th fastest, with San Antonio & Houston above and below. Hmmm...not sure what I think of that. On another list, it's 8th, so I'll just calm down.

New Band

Get thee straight over to the Gnarls Barkley website and listen to them. I am obsessed, I tell you. I have them in my head all of the time.

Oh, the American Idol finale

Blech. He's not my Idol. But Katherine isn't that great, either. I mourn for Elliot.
I will say this: I had a kissing dream about Taylor Hicks. It was okay, but he was a tad jerky.

More American Idol

Okay, are the judges on crack? Sometimes I think that they are. Katherine's third song was so rockin' and awesome, and they were blech about it. It was the same a few weeks ago when she did " Black Horse and Cherry Tree". Did her 1st song suck? Oh yeah. And her "Over the Rainbow" being the best performance of the entire competition? If you mean of any season, Simon, you are sorely mistaken. I understand that you were trying to exactly reproduce Fantasia's "Summertime", but it just didn't happen. (The link above is to the CD version, not her original AI performance, which was better and gave me the stinkin' chills.) Edited on 6/15- I think the link I have now is to the original performance, though it may be the finals of that same season.

ERGH!!! I do NOT want Taylor to win, and obviously he is the crown prince. He was not as good as they claimed tonight.

I guess that I'm more bitter than I expected that Chris is gone. Maybe I'm cranky about the lack of eye candy. *sigh*

Elliot is who I have voted for the most over the course of this season, but he has bored me a bit the past few weeks, and I think that his voice is a little shot. I'll still vote for him, though.

Coasting down a mountain at about 80mph listening to "Welcome to the Jungle"

It's pretty fun.