Oh, I do that.

Oftentimes, when people watch musicals they think, "Who does that?  Who bursts into song for no good reason?"  I think this all the time, too.  I'm really not a very big fan of musicals because I find them quite painful.

But I do burst into song for no good reason.  I sing about dinner, I sing to my husband (yes, he sings back), and today I sang about brushing my teeth.  I am one of those people. 

The difference is that I don't have serious conversations in song.  No marital spats, theological debates, or really anything that would take stomping, furrowing the brow, or pointing a finger while doing either of those things.  I am not Jean Valjean (24601).  I don't comfort my friends with heartfelt ballads about the pain they're going through.  (Okay, maybe I'd do this, but only to get a laugh out of them at the right time.) 

Perhaps I'm in a light-hearted musical about daily, domestic life.  I'll watch out for my dogs secretly practicing synchronized moves to complement my twirls and flourishes. 

Do I or don't I?

I started reading Conservatize Me by John Moe, and I'm a little mixed about whether or not I should keep reading it. 
It's not that it isn't good- he's hilarious.  If you ever look at my twitter feed over there on the right, you will quite often see tweets of his that I have "re-tweeted."  I feel like I just want to print off his twitter feed and give it to people to read because he is just that funny.
But this is a book about politics, which I have mostly sworn off.  The premise is that he, Seattle born and raised, pinko, commie, liberal, spends 30 days immersing himself in all things conservative (and stereotypically conservative) in an effort to understand "the other side" and to see if he could be converted.  
So he downloads lots of country music and even some Michael W. Smith, buys a power suit and some preppy clothes, only reads conservative newspapers and magazines, and travels to meet with some conservative heavy-hitters to see if they can convince him. 
So far, he is being surprised by what he finds, as am I.  He understands more of the points being made, and sees sense in much of the arguments.  In this way, this book is good for me, because it's like I'm on this journey with him, even though I was raised conservative and have a slightly different view than he does. 
The problem I ran into is when he finally met with some Christians.  I know there will be more, and it's not like he's trying to make anyone look stupid at all.  He is not being unfair.  But when he went to the Family Research Council, that's where he finally ran into a wall of irrational (and I would say, un-American) beliefs.  And I started to get angry. 
I don't want to be angry.  It's why I stopped watching The Daily Show and The Colbert Report and don't read articles that people post anymore.  I want to love people on all sides and get along and not think that people are lunatics.  Even the ones that are. (Believe me: I live in California.  There are loonies that subscribe to any ideology you can think of here.)
I'll read it for a few more chapters, and if I find myself getting angry again and can't pray through my know-it-all-ness, I'll stop.  Or I'll skip those parts and go to a funny part.  I'll let you know how it goes. 

I have nothing more positive to add about reading

I really want to be done with C.S. Lewis Remembered so that I can move on.  I have finally started skimming, and I am skimming with glee.  What are my fabulous plans?  Well, when I finish this, I think that I may have to split my time between Inside Out (Maria V. Snyder) and ChiRunning.  Of course, that will only last for a while, as my eagerness to not have to cram next week will have me either starting Mere Christianity, doing next week's homework for human sexuality, or both.  I do have to write my midterm for that class next week, so I'd like to get that done ASAP so that I can enjoy the C.S. Lewis class without stress.

What have I not been reading much of lately?  Oh, postings from my classmates.  It really grates on my nerves that this class is so fascinating and deals with truly practical, if thorny, issues, but barely any conversation is taking place.  We have weekly postings and are required to respond with some substance to at least two, but that is all anyone is doing.  They may ask a question or bring up something interesting in a comment, but no one seems to go back and read the 3rd level postings, so no real conversation is taking place.  It's really frustrating to me because I don't feel like I'm learning much from anyone or making any traction on figuring things out anymore.  I'm just getting a little bit of push on my boundaries by the readings & lectures (which aren't all that different).  I'm kind of sad. 

Sunshine, hearts, flowers, teddy bears

I feel like my internet presence has been a bit negative today, so I figured I'd blog a happy blog.  At least slightly happy.  Not pissy.

This most likely is only functioning as yesterday's blog, and we'll talk more later tonight when I'm done with today's reading.
All I really read yesterday was the assigned chapters in Authentic Human Sexuality or whatever the name of it is.  This week we're talking about singleness and sexuality, which is something near to my heart.  I do believe I'll be doing my final project on this subject, so you can expect to hear more about it, and I hope that some good conversations will happen both from this week's class discussion and if I end up putting a survey I'm designing up here.

I did go to the library yesterday, which was delightful, if overly tempting.  I got ChiRunning, which I'm pretty excited about in a "gee, I hope the first chapter is magical and fixes everything and I'm never in pain again and have a 9 minute mile" sort of way.  You know, realistic expectations and all.  I also got a Maria V. Snyder book, which I'm not certain I'll like, but I do like her; John Moe's Conservatize Me (I think he is freaking hilarious on twitter); and one of the C.S. Lewis books I need for class.  Oh, The Great Divorce, which I'm surprised I don't own, being that I love it. 

The problem with this lovely pile of books is that I want to read all of them.  Today.  And I shouldn't.  I need to read the C.S. Lewis books for next week first, y'know.  It makes sense. 

So, I'm off to read more of C.S. Lewis Remembered, which isn't a bad read, at all.  It's just going slowly because I actually want to read every word, which takes so much time.  I'm trying to get myself to skim.  C'mon, Robin.  Do it.  Skim the book and get it over with.

Go go go go go!

Skimming C.S. Lewis just feels wrong

But I'm doing it anyway.  Today I have been flying through Surprised by Joy, and I had wanted to wait to blog until I was done, I'm getting tired & just wanted to write already.

I'm skimming it because it's the autobiography of his faith life, he's really big on description and things that, for the purposes of my class, don't matter all that much, and I want it done and some other books of his done before class starts next Monday.

As always, it's a pleasant read, with only a few references to classics and things about which I know little to nothing.  He has spurred in me an interest in reading more classics, though.  Maybe I'll give The Faerie Queen a try one of these days.  I also like that he appreciates the Bröntes and Jane Austen; not segregating them into "feminine" literature as is done nowadays. 

Though his lengthy descriptions can sometimes be a bit tedious if you just want to get on with the action, in one chapter he takes the time to describe in some detail the view from one of his favorite walks overlooking Belfast, and it is just beautiful.  He purposely describes it for the benefit of those who have never seen it, in the context of his growing love of the beauty of nature.  Perhaps, just as an exercise, I'll set about writing a detailed description of something, just to stretch that aspect of my writing.  Don't worry, I won't post it here.

Power Point!!

No, I did not blog yesterday.  What are you going to do about it?  Nothing, that's right. 

I have had a crazy weekend, but it has been mostly good.  Yesterday, I read a scoreboard, and it was great.  Nineteen of us went to an Oakland A's game, which I was feeling pretty meh about, but it ended up being, to quote Napoleon Dynamite, "Flipping sweet!"  First 2 innings: boring, quick, no score, out out out, etc.  Third inning?  A's get 8 runs.  EIGHT.  Two innings later? 5.  We thought it would be a shut-out, but the Angels woke up for a little while and got one run, for a final score of 15-1.  Wow.  Best baseball game ever.  But there's more!  We then got to go down on the field (I sat in a seat instead, though) and there was an amazing fireworks display.  Seriously, it was awesome.  A little late night stop with friends at In 'n Out on the way home, and we were fat and happy.

I taught tonight at Core (the young adult group), so I read and studied for that a bit.  We talked about Leviticus 22, Hebrews 4, and Mark 5.  Cleanliness laws in the OT versus our freedom to approach God under Christ and his humanity, and how the woman with the issue of blood demonstrates this new order that Jesus kicked off.  It was pretty great, with lots of good conversation. 

And my movie clip?  Oh, I showed a clip from Elf, with the thin thread of relevance being the phrase from Hebrews "throne of grace" and Buddy the Elf accusing the fake Santa of sitting on a throne of lies.  It rocked. 

Tweets, man

I don't believe that I read at all today.  I'm a little sad about finishing Harry Potter, so nothing is really calling to me.  Once again, I did no homework today.

But I did catch up on my twitter feed!  I hadn't done that since Wednesday night, so I had a lot of crap interesting links and thoughts to read.  Now I sit here, not going to bed, and not doing homework, yet trolling through my twitter favorite posts, looking at posts and reading articles.  Motivation is not at an all-time high. 

I did work on this Sunday's Bible study, though, and that's something.  I'm switching from Hosea for now, since I felt such a crushing load of failure last time.  I know, I know- it wasn't that bad.  But I still wanted to step away from it.  I'm staying very simple this week.  Maybe it's better to say focused.  Not at all simple, being that I'm going into Leviticus, but I'm taking a small chunk and focusing on it.  As I did a little research to see if anyone could dazzle me with their academic prowess, I was able to rein myself in from straying from that focus.

Tomorrow?  A baseball game.  Not super excited about the game itself, but I'll have fun with my friends. 

Lupin and Tonks!!

Here I sit, at 2:15am, finishing up The Deathly Hallows, crying my eyes out. 

This time around, I'm noticing different people.  Lupin and Tonks break my heart, and I do believe that Neville Longbottom is my new hero.  It's just all so real and terrible and wonderful.  J.K. Rowling is truly an amazing writer.  By this book, it is not at all a children's book, and young kids surely should stay away from the movies when they come out.

What's extra heart-breaking is how we've seen these characters on screen for almost 10 years, so it's as if we really know them.  With Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint in my mind, I think back on Harry & Ron's first year and how little they were and just want to...I don't know.  It's almost as if they are really kids I know and in my care and I don't want them to go through all of this. 

Hopefully this braiding of fiction and reality will settle down again before November, or the movies are going to be very difficult to watch.  I'm definitely going into the last one with a box of kleenex, though. 

A strange day

I really don't know why it has been a strange day, but it had been.  I slept later than I wanted, and I went to the gym pretty early, but it was all a bit off.  My plans for the gym were changed in the middle being that I wore the wrong shoes, and I just got in a semi-foul mood. 

Reading:  I read a bit of Remembering C.S. Lewis at the gym, but my frustrating day made me just want to escape into Harry Potter. 
I also read a lot of food labels, as I went to Costco to stock up on more things we could eat.  While they don't really have a lot of alternative foods for a gluten-free diet, I bought a metric ton of fruit, which is lovely. 

Mel's Diner and the Deathly Hallows

Wait.  That's not right. 
Well, I didn't do any homework today, and that's fine.  All I wanted to do was read Harry Potter, so I did that as much as I could, even though I was quite busy most of the day.

What did I not read?  I did NOT carefully read the e-mail I received with my free pass to see Despicable Me tonight.  I did not read that the start time was at 6:30, so I got there and had friends drive into the city and meet me there around 7:30.  Boo.

So we had dinner.  Remember, this is only day 3 of our new diet, so I was a bit hesitant to go out to eat.  We went to Mel's diner and while our 3 friends were happily choosing which cheeseburgers they were going to get, Seth and I pored over the menu for quite a while, trying to find anything without gluten or dairy.  I really did want a burger, but nothing clearly stated that I could get it without a bun, and I realized that a patty with no cheese and no bun would be sad, indeed.

We ended up splitting a hot dog w/sauerkraut and a cobb salad w/o cheese and with Italian dressing.  When my friends got their side salads with blue cheese dressing, I looked at them longingly, completely expecting our salad to be disappointing when it came.  I mean, Italian dressing?? C'mon. 

But?  It was delightful.  Delicious.  We inhaled it.  I wanted another one.  Huzzah!  That was such a victory, due to both being out and the fact that I woke up this morning wanting nothing more than a baked good and a Coke. 

Now we shall share a mango for dessert, and it will be awesome. 

Busy Day

I slept in later than I wanted to, and I may have taken a nap on the sunny couch this afternoon. 

Those factors, together with the 3 hours of homework I did today (go, me!) means that I'm just now about to get to work on some reading for today.  Sure, I snatched a page here and there in Harry Potter, but I mostly was watching lectures, then I wrote my essays for the week and started on my next paper due next week.  It was a productive afternoon.  I also cleaned, made dinner, then Seth & I watched Remember Me.

So, it is 10:45, I'm a little bit tired, but Harry is tracking down Regulus' locket and the Death Eaters are amassing outside of No 12 Grimmauld Place.  How about this:  I solemnly swear I am up...no later than 1am.  Deal?  Okay.  Deal. 

Food labels

Today is day 1 of the no gluten, no dairy, no sugar diet.  After looking through the book a bit more and trying to figure out what to do, we went to the grocery store to stock up.  While the author wants us to stay away from all processed foods and sugar, we have to be realistic.  We will be eating very differently, but we know that going completely without snacks of any kind is crazy talk.  We have been looking at labels for years, so that wasn't any hardship, but we had to be a little more careful when spotting gluten.  Did you know that soy sauce has wheat in it?  What the heck?  We found some gluten-free soy sauce, though.

Also, as far as crackers and cereal goes, rice options don't seem to be all that healthy, so we had to do some more comparisons of nutritional info.  I mean, I'm pretty sure that rice krispies have very little nutritional value.  Also, some things do have a little sugar in them, or molasses or other fruit-based sweeteners, but we have to be honest with what we'll eat.  We're already changing a lot at once, and I'm still a little bit obsessed with food, so I have to have stuff around that I'm going to like.

In that vein, I am going to be spending money and living it up on grapes and sugar snap peas. I also bought yummy Frontera salsa, and it will be a chips and salsa kind of life.

We could have spent even more money and gotten bread made from rice flour and fake cheese, then just pretended that hardly anything had changed and had sandwiches every day, but we resisted.  I may buy some alternative flours or bread mixes in the future and get out the bread maker, but I want our habits to change into eating more salads & small snacks like fruit and nuts. 

Right now, we're not stretching that much, and it's great:  chicken in the oven, brown rice cooking in the rice cooker, and we're having tacos!  Huzzzah for corn tortillas! 

Oh, I'm stuffed

I completely forgot to write yesterday, but that's really okay, because I'm not sure I read one, single thing. 

Today was a terrific day, and I've read a variety of things. I woke up at 8am, which was not as many hours of sleep as I may have wanted, but I was pretty happy to be awake early.  After breakfast and a bit of World Cup watching, Seth and I went for a run, which was awesome. 

Most of the remainder of the afternoon was spent reading.  Among other things, I started working on C.S. Lewis Remembered, and it is quite lovely so far.  This book focuses on the recollections of people who knew him in a professional setting, especially his students.  Even though I know he was a caring man and took time to write to people, I guess that I still had the stereotypical image of the cranky, English genius, but it seems that was far from the truth.  He was generous both with his money and with his time, helping students and colleagues alike with encouragement and his great knowledge. 

He would always take your little ideas seriously and help make the into something, with the result that young people often felt they had been in amazing form after sitting next to him of an evening.

This sentence struck me, and I realized that I want to be known for being like this.  Especially as I come alongside (sorry, hate that phrase, but it fits) young people and encourage them in their faith and now that I'm moving into teaching more, I want to help people to blossom and make them feel smart instead of just trying to show how smart I am.  This will take some heart adjustments, but I trust God with the tinkering. 

One more thing.

IsawEclipseagaintoday.  

I swear, I'm not a freak or obsessed (anymore).  But I liked the movie a lot and a friend hadn't seen it yet, so I said we should go.  I liked it again, but did take a bathroom break during Bella's attempted seduction of Edward.  The actors just aren't all that adept at the intimate scenes. 
I'll have you know that on our way out, I ran into 3 friends who were seeing it again already, too.  Sure, they are 15, 16, & 17, but that really shouldn't make any difference or reflect at all upon my maturity.  Hey- I connect with teenagers.  It's what I do.  I'm staying plugged in.  Yeah, that's it. 

Um, spoiler alert?

Not sure that I have to warn people about a 3 year old book, but if you haven't read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and plan on it or plan on seeing the movies, you may want to skip this post.

Are they gone? 
As I told you before, the excitement of the preview being released finally got me to pick up the book and read it again.  I have previously only read it once, the day it came out, which was more devouring than reading.  Details did not stick to my brain parts.
I'm still pretty early on, just where all the pretend-Harrys are slowly showing up at the Weasley's house.  One thing I noticed is that the action starts with no holding back right from the beginning.  I had forgotten about Hedwig and what a blow that was and how I didn't believe it at first.  "Oh, she's fine." 
George has lost his ear and is making jokes with Fred, and I'm crying a little bit and wondering if I'll skip some pages later on in the book.  I love me some Weasley twins. 
I have a pretty busy weekend ahead of me, so I'm not certain that I will, well, should get much reading done.  If I do get a lot read in HP, it will be because I stayed up way past my bedtime or I didn't do as much homework as I'd like. 

Decisions, decisions.

Today's Blog!

It contains nothing!  I didn't really read anything! 
I mostly surfed the net while at work today, because it was too busy to get homework done.  So I guess I read twitter & facebook. 

I had a meeting at church, so I read brainstormed ideas from a white board & chose not to pooh pooh as many as I could have, being that I really have little idea what it takes to get a new service/worship night off the ground.  But I am quite opinionated, you know. 

Here's what I read today:  a transcription I was writing of a 12 minute video for I Am Second.  It wasn't really harder than I expected, but it did take longer, mostly because timestamps had to be noted every minute or so.

I also read...hmmmm...one page of HP & TDH, which I will work on more tomorrow, maybe.  After I have a meeting at church (different topic), work out, finish watching my lectures for this week, and write my essays for this week.  It is a cross-training day tomorrow, though, so I could read on the elliptical or bike.  I'll do that.

I hope you've found something fun to dive into this summer.  Let me know if you find something amazing that I'll like and I'll throw it on the TBR pile.  (meaning: kids or fantasy or, best of all, kids' fantasy)   

Finally!

Friends, that wasn't a long book (the one I talked about yesterday), but I just couldn't finish it quickly.  But, done it is.  Now I can listen to my lectures & write my essays for the week.

Tonight, I'm seeing Eclipse (3rd Twilight movie, in case you've been living under a rock), and I'll be going early to try to ensure that I get a seat somewhat near my friends.  Since I'll be there about an hour and a half early, I'll be taking Sea Glass with me, and I may finish it.  Well, maybe not.  I'm really enjoying it and don't want it to be over, since the next one doesn't come out for a few months.  I do have C.S. Lewis to read, though, so I can always do that, but it's nice to have some fantasy to escape into.

I also have Chi Running on the way from the library, and that should be interesting.  My problem with that, though, is that I'll feel like I really need to pay attention and read a little at a time to incorporate what it tells me. 

I've been a reading fiend lately, but that's totally okay with me.  I think I'm also going to put Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows into the rotation, because I've only read it once and the preview for the movie made me all goose-bumpy and excited. 

Cheers!

Trying not to fight the change

Right now I'm plugging through Men at the Crossroads: Beyond Traditional Roles & Modern Options for class, and I'm having a bit of a hard time.  At first, I was feeling pretty bratty about it, thinking things like, "Oh, poor men!  They have it soooooo hard!" and rolling my eyes at the different men's movements. 

What makes me angry is when men, especially Christian men, moan about society being all about women and how men are at a disadvantage now.  Um, hello?  No, they're not.  Women still make 20-30% less then men do, we're still expected to be more like men at work....but this isn't why I'm here right now.

Basically, I was blowing off all questions and issues that men may have.  Sometimes I get a glimpse and understand a little bit the stress that men are under, but I often think it's all their own doing with their machismo and weird ways of thinking and why don't they just knock it off?!  And this doesn't help. 
I want men to care about and try to understand women's issues, so why shouldn't I do the same for them?

So, I go back to my reading with a different frame of mind.  I will listen to these lectures with interest and compassion, and my eyes will look forward, not at the ceiling. 

It's only okay

I didn't write earlier, while it was still Sunday, because I had a headache and was busy feeling sorry for myself.  So there.  Harrumph.

I was feeling down because my teaching was only okay and I gave myself a stress headache beforehand and I was beating myself up about not being a perfect speaker.

I've only taught 5 times.  I know that no one else expects me to be perfect, but I feel like they're all quite ready for me to not teach anymore.  I don't know if they realize that I'm new to this and I have to grow and learn. 

My problem is that I have too many ideas that I think go together and flow, but they only really do so in my head, at least not without a lot more connection.  This isn't a new problem, but one I've run into writing papers- I get entirely too many sources- and here on the blog, where I quite often get long-winded when I don't mean to or want to do so. 

So I must learn to prune my works a bit and find the main ideas I want to express, keeping all the other stuff for a different work of its own, or as support for something else.  I don't have to express everything I'm thinking just this minute.

Reading:  I read my notes & parts of Hosea again, and I finished Out of the Silent Planet, which was pretty good, but Lewis went a little overboard with the descriptions.   I was often waiting for something to happen besides description of the flora. 

Fantastic!

Today, I read 3 things: the end of Redeeming Love, which was nice; Hosea, which is in preparation for teaching tomorrow; and the credits at the end of Toy Story 3.

It was lovely.  I woke up after sleeping for 12 hours, and I went straight to my book and finished it.  It definitely is a Christian book, but it is well-written and not afraid of dark places.  I did roll my eyes a couple of times, because it always annoys me in books when people hold onto grudges or cockamamie ideas longer than they need to just for the book to go on longer.   But I would still recommend it.

Then I got to work on the yard, which was a sweatier job than I expected it to be.  I tied up the little dog in the front and let Underwood wander while Seth put up the front screen door (yeah!) and I raked, picked up piles, and praise the Lord- cut down our yellow rose bush.  I wasn't sure if there would be room in the greens bin for it, because it was so freaking tall, but I was determined and it is GONE! 

I puttered around the back yard a little bit, picking up weeds and a little poo, hosing off the clothes line, and just getting a move on. 

Seth and I then walked into town and saw TS3, which was good.  Yes, I like the Toy Story movies, but I'm not in love with them.  I probably like the first one best.  We laughed a bit and I cried a lot at the end, though I was fighting it, so I got a headache.  I enjoyed the fact that the Gipsy Kings sang "You've Got a Friend in Me" in Spanish, and, although it wasn't in the credits, one of the pieces of music in a sad part definitely sounded like "A Heart Full of Love" from Les Mis. 

We walked to the post, office, split a burrito at the mall, I got a decaf coffee with a Starbucks gift card, and we played in Brookstone.  Lovely.  We played Rock Band, but only for 3 songs, because I was much more tired than I thought, with a bit of a headache. 

Tomorrow is church, helping friends with a luncheon they're having after church to talk about their missions in Mexico (enchiladas!), and teaching tomorrow night.  It will be a great day.  Smooches!