Wednesday, November 09, 2011

The Perfect Crime

Not really. I just discovered a great way to torture myself & my husband: I made a delicious dinner including both bacon (hooray!) and onions (booooo!). We acknowledge that onions add good flavor to things, so I sometimes will either shred onions very small so they basically turn to mush, or I leave them in big pieces so they are easily dodged. The problem with the carbonara I made the other day? Well, the bacon & the onions are the same color, & roughly the same sized pieces, so you really can't tell what you're scooping up.

Ha! Fooled us!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


I used to work in tech support, and I actually loved it on one of the projects I worked on. I loved talking to people from all over the place, helping them with their problems, and feeling like the smartest person in the world. It was good fun, for the most part.

I've also had conversations that lasted well over an hour with people that had absolutely no business touching a computer. They just had the bad luck to still be working as we entered the 21st century, where pretty much every job requires the use of technology. I have put people on hold & cried out for help from God & my colleagues, because I just didn't know how to explain it in any other way.

So let me say that I know how to make my way around a problem. If I can't solve it myself, I've googled it (when applicable), and basically tried everything I can before I get to the point of contacting customer/tech support.

Also? I know how to write a message. I'm not perfect- I don't always think of every, little detail they might need to know (windows version, time of day, color of my mood ring), but I explain what I did. "I've tried this, this, and this, as directed on the site, and this is the error message that I got."

My point? I'm not stupid. And I hate stupid tech support workers. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, because most of the people I worked with weren't all that good at their jobs. (FYI: at least for website issues, the support staff is not full of computer whizzes. At all.) It bugs the crap out of me when I get a message back and they clearly did not read my message.

"Hey! Thanks for writing! You can just go ahead and press the 'forgot password' link on the login screen and we'll send you a temporary password! Don't forget to check your spam folder!!!!!!!1!!"*

Vomit. You can tell they're trying very hard to be nice & chummy & not talk down, but it's sooooo not working.

*I understand if they have a process & that's the first step that the must tell everyone to do. Fine. But acknowledge that I have a brain in my head in your message, รก la "I see that you already tried this, but just try it one more time for me & tell me the error message you get." Or just go ahead & escalate it already or tell me the next step.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

He is Risen Indeed!

It is almost 8am on Easter, and I haven't slept. I'm very tired, and I've been weepy.

I am waiting. We are waiting. I don't know what's in Seth's head. He's probably fine.

We're almost ready to start foster care with the intent to adopt. We have 2 weeks before we can have our home open for...kidness, I guess. That is because we are waiting on word regarding the family member we may adopt. Who I want to adopt. Bad. But I'll also be thrilled if she can stay with her family. That would be great. And I would mourn an idea.

So I wait. And even when I try to say, "Okay, let's move on. What do I need to do to get ready for a kid here?" I still get stuck. We haven't heard from adoptions for a while, which frustrates me. I'm sure they're waiting to hear from us about the family member, but I want all that stuff to be ready, too. If we're not going to be adopting my relative, I'll want another kid immediately. I want this. I wish we could have some foster kids even just in these next two weeks, just so something could start.

I'm sick of waiting. I think I may be getting an ulcer. My stomach hurts lately, I can't sleep, I'm exhausted, I'm depressed. I want to watch TV or read or be online because then I don't think. I feel fat and lazy, and I want to go run, but I think when I'm running. I don't want to think. I'm sick of it. I need distraction.

So. That's what's going on with me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Well, they showed me.

We're having some prescription insurance confusion, so I was without my anti-depressants for about a week & a half. I had thought, "Fine. Maybe this is my way to get off of them." You know, how most people on psych meds do from time to time. "Oh, I'm feeling fine [on the meds] so I must not need them!" It's a highly intelligent argument, for sure.

Anyway, I was thinking that I just wouldn't get my meds. Then I also said to Seth just the day before yesterday, "You know, I don't think we have to take all our vitamins & supplements anymore. I don't think they're doing anything. I don't feel any different & they're expensive."

Cue yesterday & actually, part of the day before: Dang it! I am TIRED! And I don't really want to do anything. I'm not motivated. Let's just sit around the house. No! I'll go running and cry about how much I suck. That's a plan.

You're slick, meds. You let me quickly learn my own lesson.

In sum: filling up my pill boxes w/vitamins & bought my prescription yesterday, because even w/o insurance (until we get that sorted) it's not expensive.

Friday, March 25, 2011

A break

It has been raining for days, so today when it stopped for a bit, I took the dog out for a walk that we both needed. The rain coupled with a very long cold I had has gotten me back out of the habit of regular exercise, and I hate that.

Since trying to become a runner, I feel like nothing I do is good enough. I need to do everything more often, faster, don't stop, do it better, you suck. When I take the dog for our half-hour walk, I'm still thinking about walking a bit faster to take some time off, or running a bit, or doing farther. I think about what my running friends are doing that day and I consider myself a joke.

I spend too much of my life thinking I'm not good enough and need to change. Too much time feeling guilty.

On today's walk, I was trying to walk quickly, and I glanced out the corner of my eye, thanked God for the beautiful hills, and almost kept going. But I made myself stop, turn and look at the green, and stand there for a minute, doing nothing. That's when I realized all this crap. Well, re-realized some of it.

This was heavier & longer than planed, and I'm sorry. I'm mostly in a very good place right now; today is just off. Lack of sleep.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Blogging as the fruit of avoidance

No, friends, I'm not going to tell you what I've been up to the past 3 1/2 months. Not quite yet.  (It's not exciting or secretive, just heavy-ish & I don't want to explain right now.) 

No, what I have for you is a blog entry based upon a weird thing that happened to me today, which happens to be a day in which I should be studying for a midterm I'd really like to take & be done with tomorrow. 

Shall we?  We shall.

On my way down the street today, I drove through something...well, I'd like to say that I drove through something, but I'm not quite sure.  I was driving, minding my own business, which is not the usual way I drive on that particular street, actually.  I usually watch the people walking around & judge them or try to figure out what they're doing.  What?  I'm just being honest.  My blog is a bs-free zone. 
So, I was driving when I heard a patter on my windshield, as if I drove through a sprinkler or maybe was driving behind a truck full of dirt & was sprayed.  But neither of those things had happened.  The window was dry & (mostly) clean. 

I was seriously confused and kept looking at my windshield as if an explanation would appear.  Then my sci-fi/fantasy reading instincts kicked in, and I figured that I had driven through a magical border or some kind or a force field.  Even as I told myself that it was nothing, I thought, "That's what humans always think.  They shrug it off and don't see what they don't want to see or understand."  And that's how aliens/faerykind/wizards/demons/vampires slowly take over our world without anyone being any the wiser.