Monday, October 21, 2013

Rawr & stuff

I cried at a Katy Perry song yesterday. This song:

You see, my kids love Katy Perry. They're 8, so it's perfectly normal. They've sung "Firework" at school, making up different lyrics a la Madlibs. The first time they heard this song, they loved it. I tolerated it. I kept thinking, "I'm not going to buy it, because I don't need to buy every song they like. I already got 'Firework' and I don't love this song." But that's the weird thing about being a parent: your kids like something & you often end up liking it because they do. It makes them happy & that makes you happy. So I kept leaving it on.

I started thinking about the lyrics and my kids a week or so ago. I had explained to them before that it may have been about her divorce and how she was being strong again, but then I realized that it was an empowering song in general.

Listen, I try to avoid using words like "empowering" if I don't absolutely have to, but my kids need empowerment. They have been through PILES of shit in their short lives already, and I'm working really hard to help them grasp how awesome they are & the potential that they have; to get them away from a victim mentality.

So that's there the tears came in. On our two-minute drive to church yesterday (if we were better at getting ready on time, we'd walk), this was on the radio (What?! *shock*) and I started telling H that she and her brother should make this song their own. That was fine, but that afternoon, when I went ahead and bought it, I started to play it for them and just started weeping while trying to explain my thoughts to them. After being a little confused, I think they got it. Life and specific people have pushed them down. A LOT. But they are champions. Kids are the best at taking things literally and latching onto ideas, so I really hope that this sticks with them. Not the crying part, unless that just constantly reminds them of how much their totally awesome mother adores them, but the tiger/fighter/champion part. And not the emoticons. And let's stay away from Katy Perry's gender issues and candy bras. Let's just stop here.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Refer to Blog Title

Yeah, I don't sleep much. I originally started this blog as something productive to do when I can't sleep, so I figure I should get back to that. And for that reason you, lucky reader, get to have this post.

It could be stress. Things are mostly good, but there are always money issues and we're still hitting our stride with the kids. I don't feel super-stressed on a daily basis, other than immense annoyance with Windows 8, but I'm still not sleeping at night in my bed with my husband. Most nights (mornings, really) I'm getting 5 hours, which is about 1/2 of what my body would really like.

The most annoying thing is that I'm still really tired, so I can't do many useful things when I'm up. I can't study or read anything that requires thought. I should have screens off, but watching TV is about all I can manage. And then my lives are back on Candy Crush and I have to do that, you know.

So it's 5:30 in the morning on Sunday, and I am supposed to be teaching in 4.5 hours. I was exhausted all day yesterday & tried to go to sleep around 10:45, but it didn't take. So I finally just had coffee & a pb&j, even though I really want to go to Starbucks. No, what I really want is for there to be a Starbucks cart outside my door.

So it will be a mostly brainless day. My students will brainstorm with me and ask me anything, and then my kids will watch Doctor Who all day. They won't complain.