Spirituality and My Corner of the Internet

I was waiting for some moment of clarity or inspiration so that this entry would be perfect in explaining how I feel, but I don't think that moment is on its way, so I'll go ahead with it:

In poking around the blogosphere and myspace, I notice that many people have their faith right out there for all to see. Their answers to "Who would you like to meet?" are "My Lord and savior" and things of that nature. Their "About Me" sections are full of how much they love God and how all they want to do is serve Jesus better, etc, etc.

My reaction to this? Guilt. Which I know isn't from God, but there it is. I wonder why I'm not more like that; why my first instincts and answers aren't to give those type of answers. Having gone to a Christian high school, this has always been an issue for me. I look at the ones that are overtly spiritual and wonder what's wrong with me or why I don't love God as much as they do.
And I know in my mind that this is crap. Periodically, I know it in my heart- but it comes and goes. Jesus and I are likethis, and I am on my own path. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. "but but! I'm going to be a pastor! someday..."

And there's also the issue of whether these people are all really like that. If it really was their first instinct to have their myspace be their Christian calling card. I would think that not all of them are like that. Maybe it is their first reaction because they want to make sure to put it out there for reasons of insecurity, not that they are only ever thinking about God. But I know that some of them are like that. I never have been.

I don't go up to people on the streets or witness door-to-door. Some would call it a copout, but I don't- I live my life for God. I love people- that's actually my biggest goal. I want people to know that I love them. I want to be a friend to people and have them trust and rely on me and know that they are loved by me and by God. I do bring up faith with people. Quite often, actually. I've talked to strangers about God at parties- I let it happen organically.

Two quotes, one oft-used but still good, one probably unknown to you:

Preach the Gospel always, and when necessary, use words.
attributed to St. Francis of Assissi

This one is from Beth Moore's book Believing God. She calls these the phrases that make up your shield of Faith. I love them:

God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things through Christ.
God's Word is living and active in me.

These help me to confirm who I am when I doubt it. Obviously, they lead me back to other things I know and what the Bible says about me. Maybe someday I will be more like "those people", but they aren't better than me or smarter or closer to God. They are walking their own walks and it is their business. I am working out my salvation with fear and trembling.