Thursday, August 24, 2006

An epiphany, but not as impressive

I can't seem to put what I want to say into paragraph form, so you get bullet points:

  • I have wandered both geographically, spiritually, and professionally for most of my adult life.
  • I don't have many of what the cool kids like to call "accomplishments".
  • Sometimes this makes me feel like a loser.
  • There are better ways to look at this.
  • God is keeping me humble, being that I'm so fond of being a smarty-smarty.
  • I'm supposed to give thanks in all situations.
When I examine things just from my point of view, I love my life and I like all that I've done and everywhere that I've been. It's just when I think of how others are looking at me that I get all defensive. Which is stupid. I guess that I also think, "I should have done/been more," but that is pure vanity.

I started writing this yesterday, and today I feel much better about things. I suppose that writing while exhausted doesn't do anyone much good. It just results in whining.

I got this Bible verse in an e-mail message today: "The vision is for an appointed time. Though it tarry, wait earnestly for it, for it will surely come." (Habakkuk 2:3)
That pretty much says it. I know that God is doing things in and through me and one of the things that He has been trying to beat out of me is my need to control things, so I get to float. But I'm floating with purpose- being transformed and molded, so I need to do so with more appreciation and peace.

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