I've realized within the past month or two that This is It. I'm in my life, I'm on my path- here we go! I guess that although I wouldn't have admitted it, I was looking around the corner and waiting for my life to show up. Waiting on something big, for school, for that Great Job, or for Significance to descend from on high.
What does this mean in a practical sense? One one hand it is a psychological/spritual revelation that gives me peace and joy. I don't have to feel useless or like I'm wasting time because I am living a life of service and learning, getting in on opportunities for both that God places in my path. On the other hand it is a spiritual/scheduling revolution because I need to put myself out there more, letting go of the vast quantity of Me Time I've learned to cherish and get used to being gone more, putting more hours in at my volunteer jobs, taking more classes at church, and realizing that all of this is good (and will only increase in the future). I am dying to myself a little more every day, and even when I hate it, I love it.
The other possibly big chunk of the picture is that I'm applying to seminary. I have finally gotten a car, and it didn't take long for me to realize that the door for school was now open. So I asked the proper people to write letters of recommendation, I visited the school, hammered out other various paperwork tasks, and all I really have left is to write my essays (religious autobiography and Why Fuller?), which I am currently avoiding by writing to you fine folks.
Obviously, I'll let you know how it all turns out. But please, PLEASE realize that I am not putting all my eggs in this basket. I don't expect to be rejected, and if I get in, I'm sure that the money will happen, but I also know that I don't have to go to seminary right now or at all in order to do what God has for me. That's why I keep plugging myself into various things at church and I keep learning. Something can grow from where you would never think.
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