Thursday, December 31, 2009

FYI: Depression hasn't a "why"

Some of you may not know this, so I'm telling you: if someone in your life is depressed, there probably isn't a real reason.  They're not doing it on purpose, and they aren't focusing on the wrong things.  Well, maybe they are- it can suck you in- but that's not my point. The point is that, at least for me, the depression is in me.  It always is.  I'm pretty sure it always has been. 

Yes, circumstances in life can kick it up a notch, but I can tell when it's chemically induced more than just overwhelming sadness because the circumstances in life really aren't that bad.  My life is fine.  My life is great.  I'm very happy.  I just happen to be super depressed right now.  And I know that there's no real reason for it other than my stupid brain.  So- don't worry.  Don't try too much cheer me up, don't point out all the good things I have, don't tell me this or that will make me feel better. 

Is it good for me to have some distraction? Yes, it is.  Tonight is New Year's Eve, and what I really want to do is sit in this chair and alternate staring into space with playing Bubble Town.  Preferably drunk.  But what I will do is go out with my friends, and laugh and have fun.  I don't need to wallow any more than I already do.

At least in my case, I have dealt with this long enough that I have a pretty good handle on how to deal.  I know that, though I can't just buck up and be done with this, I also need a swift kick in the rear to keep living and not get overly despondent or melodramatic.  I know that my life is great and that I'm being lame. 

A few of you can try to kick me in the butt, but be prepared for me to fight back a little.  It'll all be okay.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi, I just wanted to thank you for posting your blog. I happened to stumble upon it while doing what you did... Not sleeping and trying to think of something to do. I am also feeling very depressed but here is the thing. I have absolutely no reason to feel depressed. My life is wonderful and God has blessed my family. I guess what i want to say is that i feel relieved that i am not the only one who has felt this type of depression. Thank you so much for letting me know that. As a teenager I often find it hard to cope with the little struggles of life but i love the bible verses for sleep you put up a long time ago. They helped a lot. Sorry my grammar and spelling is awful but thank you so much! God bless!

Robeena said...

Hey, I'm honored that my rambling can help. I hope you're able to get help when you need it & also to trust God & keep going.