I've been working so hard to mostly keep it all together lately, but I'm sitting here sobbing and it just feels great. I needed it.
Today has been a little heavy. Just difficult with my rib pain, so I couldn't work out- but I did go to the chiropractor & I'll go back tomorrow. And something could have happened today with the baby situation, but it has been put off for a month, which just stretches life thinner, in a way. And we had our foster care class, where we talked about problem behaviors, including those related to fetal alcohol syndrome. Just argh. I was just thinking of my sisters the whole time and just broken for them.
I bought a ticket to go to Michigan for three weeks in November/December, which I'm not exactly jumping up and down about, because it's just going to be really hard.
I really want our new life to start. So many things have to change for it to happen, and I know that God is doing his thing. I KNOW THIS. It's just that all this longing is so new, and as I try to move out in these directions of my own power, I keep being thwarted. I am really having a difficult time finding a place for us to move. We just can't afford the things we want, and so many people don't want dogs. I believe that God has a place for us, but it is still disappointing when everywhere I turn thinking, "maybe" turns out to be a "NO." Thinning the herd. Narrowing the field. It's okay.
I got a great message on FB tonight, though. One of my amazing high school students wrote to ask me about the court date so she could pray for me. I'm going to miss being with them every Wednesday so much.
1 comment:
I'd like to say that it'll make sense later, but as someone who is still walking down the path of "I'm not totally sure what God is doing, but I'll keep walking," all I can say is to follow his lead and don't fret too much about not having all the answers. Love you!
Post a Comment