Magazines in the bathroom

We went to a wedding today, so I read the wedding program, but not as attentively as I have others, and I read the order of events at the reception.  After noticing that the reception was behind schedule, I was exhausted, and the dogs had been alone for 6 hours already, we ducked out of there. 

It was almost a 2 hour drive, and I wanted to drive so as to not be bored, but I needed coffee, I tell you.  The city of Ukiah was my nemesis tonight.  I got off at one exit, where there was an alleged "Coffee Critic," but I did not find it.  Have I mentioned to you that strip malls without coffee places in them should be illegal?  Also taquerías.  Anyway, no coffee at that exit, so we got back on & went down farther.  Get off there- all sorts of stores- no coffee.  I finally was able to get a passable latte from the grocery store, but it was just not the same.  GAH. 

Now I sit here, not really feeling ready for teaching tomorrow night, but being scheduled to teach tomorrow morning, then church, then an event, then a meeting, then the group at which I'm teaching.  And I'm skipping a good friends bachelorette party right now and tomorrow. 

Perhaps a bubble bath will solve anything.  Calgon makes it seem true.

A non-reading weekend

That's really what I had.  I just haven't been reading a lot lately, which is kind of sad.  That one vampire, pardon me, vampyre, book I'm reading has been sitting on my dresser and I hardly even read it before bed.  I've been busy and exhausted- partially from eating like crap. 

Today, though, I'm going to read.  I got a book in the mail today from a friend and I'm going to make time for it.  The book is Bittersweet by Shana Niequist, and I heard her speak briefly at the leadership summit last month.  I've been meaning to read this book, and my sweet friend knew after reading it that she was supposed to give it to someone, and she thought I could use it right now.  She's probably right.

So I'll start reading that in a few, and I'll report back later!

Song lyrics!

I'm really tired, so this shall be a bullet-pointed post to sum up today.

• Training for youth group volunteers this morning, which was at the home of a family from church which was LOVELY.  They have a great yard, vines of their own & their yard backs up to a bigger vineyard, with a mountain behind.  Awesome.
• I'm going to have two other adult leaders for my small group this year, and our two student leaders are going to be a lot of fun.  All of the student leaders are really excited about leading and I think they're going to be really strong this year.
• My ears are really, really itchy.
• We had tacos for lunch at the training, and they were fabulous, I tell you. 
• I've started writing my final C.S. Lewis paper, and I'm going to finish it tomorrow, I say!  I'm going to go to bed early tonight, skip church tomorrow, and work on it all day. 
• Our college event was really good.  We had 7 college students show up for dinner, which was good, so about 14 of us total had pizza and talked, then we went to the church to play Rock Band.  Some more people joined us there, and it was lots of fun, of course.  The beauty was that it was an early night-- we started with dinner at 4 and the last of us taking down the xbox & putting the church back in order left church around 10pm.  We're all feeling old & tired tonight.
• I love playing Rock Band with the church friends, because everyone gets into it, especially a lot of the guys.  They're jumping up and down, screaming and singing, and acting like lunatics.  It makes me smile a lot.  
• I have the paper due Monday and my sexuality project due Friday.  Then I am freeeeeeeeeee!  Until the 30th of September, at least,  I'm going to see some family, read a ton, and clean a ton.  I'll have to restrain myself from blatantly throwing away half of our possessions, since I'm so sick of the mess.  I do hope to at least put a good amount of stuff in storage.  It will be grand.

Goodnight!  Oh, and my ears are still really itchy. 

Oh, that's why I'm so busy

Whenever I feel overrun by life and have to explain to someone why I didn't return their call or something similar, I feel like a bit of a baby.  I think, "C'mon, what do you really do all week that you're that busy?" 

Well, I'm in ministry.  I just realized that this week.  I'm not paid, and I have friends on my team helping me, but I'm the main voice for the college students right now, so I'm sort of a college pastor.  I've known (lightly) for a while that I was a pastor because a)we all are, kinda and b)I'm actually involved in ministry.  But as I fret about events, about meeting with and connecting with students both high school and college, as I search the web looking for articles to read and things to study and resources for drawing college students to church, I realize that I'm already doing it.

For the past couple years, I've thought of myself as an unemployed, part-time student who volunteers with a couple things at church, so I always try to justify my sense of pressure or overwhelmed-ness.  But I'm in my career already.  It's on.  Even though I'm still in school.  Even though I don't get paid.  I'm one of the teachers for young adults, I'm taking on some teaching (really more like facilitating/leading) roles for high school, I love all of these teenagers and twenty-somethings to bits and pieces, and there is a weight on my heart for them.  I'm in. 

So, yeah.  I'm busy.  Part of me can't wait for school to be over (only 1.5 more years!) so I can concentrate on ministry & possibly be paid to worry & read books and articles and listen to podcasts and fret and plan & meet, etc.  Another part of me knows, though, that it (ministry) will grow to fill whatever time I can give it.  It will suck my brain power and my heart and my time, and having more time will just mean more work and more heartache. 

I'm tempted to have a cheesy closing line like, "But it will all be worth it," or something like that for closure, but I'm more blank right now.  It is what it is.  It is worth it, as long as I keep it in perspective, because this is where I'm called.  God is making a way for me and I walk in it with faith and a nervous stomach.  I know that there will be exciting times and worn down times.  I know that I have no idea what God has in store. 

As I move into this new space, I'll need to realign some things.  Shift my baggage around a bit to get comfortable for the journey.  Learn to look at myself and my life in a new way.  Me & God can do this. 

I'm back! You can un-knot your panties now.

Oh, friends, I am so tired.  I'm sure that I've learned this lesson before, but I need to stop running myself into the ground.  I am not one who enjoys having something planned every day, yet I do it to myself all the time. 

You did not hear from me for the past week or so because I was in Yosemite for 4 days with my lovely young adults group from church and my lovely goddaughter #1.  It was magnificent and lovely, but also the tail end of a month solid of activities.  So, I came home from Yosemite with a flu/cold that I am currently working through. 

So today I worked on last week's homework which didn't get turned in on time, and read about rape, pornography, and eroticism.  Not a heartening group of topics, I say, but it all still urges me forward in my quest for transparency in the church regarding sexual subjects. 

My brain is too tired to think more, so instead of doing more homework, I shall read for fun.  Huzzah!  I'm reading The Necromancer, which may be the last book in a YA/kids series I'm reading.  I kind of hope it isn't, but also wouldn't mind if things were wrapped up here.  You know what I mean:  the cliffhanger can be sooooo annoying in a book.

How many times does "moon" appear?

Today has been a busy day, but it's lovely.  After staying up most of the night and working a little today, I can be done with my first paper if I want to be.  I'll go over it a bit over the next few days, tweaking & maybe adding enough to make it a solid 10 pages. 

Three hours of sleep is all I got, and I drowsily donated blood and read some C.S. Lewis essays on fiction (now unnecessary) before heading down to SFO to get one of my goddaughters.  My head about exploded due to only one security line being open, but I finally obtained the girl and made it out of the city. 

In an effort to get my page length, I flipped through the Chronicles looking for another example of the things I already pointed out, but eventually realized I had a shiny, new point to make!  That was fun.  So I pulled up the trusty Amazon search and looked for "moon" in all of the books (well, the one, big copy of them all).  No, I haven't resorted to listing objects and the frequency of their appearance, but I had an idea that the Moon was sometimes more than just a moon, so I wanted to see all the uses.  Turns out I'm kind of right.  That's always  nice. 

Unreachable

I'm staying at the house of some friends while I'm in class these two weeks, and the house must be lined with lead or something, because I get no cell reception (even outside, sometimes) and the internet doesn't work everywhere, like in the living room.  Well, it's temperamental and moody.

It's kind of a beautiful thing.  Sure, I wasn't able to get online last night and write this entry, but I also can't get any phone calls and spend less time online.  Fabulous.  Maybe I should climb on my roof at home with a roll of tinfoil.

I'm reading!  A lot!  Well, I'm also watching a lot of Angel, but that's really okay since I'm getting other things done, too.  Not that my phone rings much at home, but it does from time to time.  I get e-mails or facebook postings from people asking me to do things, and I should do laundry or clean the house or something.  Here?  It isn't messy, there's plenty of room to put the things away that need to be put away, and I can't do anything with anyone.  It's gorgeous. 

Perhaps I need to learn to block out my time better when I'm working on class.  The only problem with that is that I'm almost always working on class, and I do have a life, relationships, and ministry to consider.  But maybe I should block of certain days- maybe 2 per week, at least- where I never make plans and I don't answer the phone.  I also won't feel guilty about housework.  This is something to think about. 

Sunshine, hearts, flowers, teddy bears

I feel like my internet presence has been a bit negative today, so I figured I'd blog a happy blog.  At least slightly happy.  Not pissy.

This most likely is only functioning as yesterday's blog, and we'll talk more later tonight when I'm done with today's reading.
All I really read yesterday was the assigned chapters in Authentic Human Sexuality or whatever the name of it is.  This week we're talking about singleness and sexuality, which is something near to my heart.  I do believe I'll be doing my final project on this subject, so you can expect to hear more about it, and I hope that some good conversations will happen both from this week's class discussion and if I end up putting a survey I'm designing up here.

I did go to the library yesterday, which was delightful, if overly tempting.  I got ChiRunning, which I'm pretty excited about in a "gee, I hope the first chapter is magical and fixes everything and I'm never in pain again and have a 9 minute mile" sort of way.  You know, realistic expectations and all.  I also got a Maria V. Snyder book, which I'm not certain I'll like, but I do like her; John Moe's Conservatize Me (I think he is freaking hilarious on twitter); and one of the C.S. Lewis books I need for class.  Oh, The Great Divorce, which I'm surprised I don't own, being that I love it. 

The problem with this lovely pile of books is that I want to read all of them.  Today.  And I shouldn't.  I need to read the C.S. Lewis books for next week first, y'know.  It makes sense. 

So, I'm off to read more of C.S. Lewis Remembered, which isn't a bad read, at all.  It's just going slowly because I actually want to read every word, which takes so much time.  I'm trying to get myself to skim.  C'mon, Robin.  Do it.  Skim the book and get it over with.

Go go go go go!

Skimming C.S. Lewis just feels wrong

But I'm doing it anyway.  Today I have been flying through Surprised by Joy, and I had wanted to wait to blog until I was done, I'm getting tired & just wanted to write already.

I'm skimming it because it's the autobiography of his faith life, he's really big on description and things that, for the purposes of my class, don't matter all that much, and I want it done and some other books of his done before class starts next Monday.

As always, it's a pleasant read, with only a few references to classics and things about which I know little to nothing.  He has spurred in me an interest in reading more classics, though.  Maybe I'll give The Faerie Queen a try one of these days.  I also like that he appreciates the Bröntes and Jane Austen; not segregating them into "feminine" literature as is done nowadays. 

Though his lengthy descriptions can sometimes be a bit tedious if you just want to get on with the action, in one chapter he takes the time to describe in some detail the view from one of his favorite walks overlooking Belfast, and it is just beautiful.  He purposely describes it for the benefit of those who have never seen it, in the context of his growing love of the beauty of nature.  Perhaps, just as an exercise, I'll set about writing a detailed description of something, just to stretch that aspect of my writing.  Don't worry, I won't post it here.

Busy Day

I slept in later than I wanted to, and I may have taken a nap on the sunny couch this afternoon. 

Those factors, together with the 3 hours of homework I did today (go, me!) means that I'm just now about to get to work on some reading for today.  Sure, I snatched a page here and there in Harry Potter, but I mostly was watching lectures, then I wrote my essays for the week and started on my next paper due next week.  It was a productive afternoon.  I also cleaned, made dinner, then Seth & I watched Remember Me.

So, it is 10:45, I'm a little bit tired, but Harry is tracking down Regulus' locket and the Death Eaters are amassing outside of No 12 Grimmauld Place.  How about this:  I solemnly swear I am up...no later than 1am.  Deal?  Okay.  Deal. 

Today's Blog!

It contains nothing!  I didn't really read anything! 
I mostly surfed the net while at work today, because it was too busy to get homework done.  So I guess I read twitter & facebook. 

I had a meeting at church, so I read brainstormed ideas from a white board & chose not to pooh pooh as many as I could have, being that I really have little idea what it takes to get a new service/worship night off the ground.  But I am quite opinionated, you know. 

Here's what I read today:  a transcription I was writing of a 12 minute video for I Am Second.  It wasn't really harder than I expected, but it did take longer, mostly because timestamps had to be noted every minute or so.

I also read...hmmmm...one page of HP & TDH, which I will work on more tomorrow, maybe.  After I have a meeting at church (different topic), work out, finish watching my lectures for this week, and write my essays for this week.  It is a cross-training day tomorrow, though, so I could read on the elliptical or bike.  I'll do that.

I hope you've found something fun to dive into this summer.  Let me know if you find something amazing that I'll like and I'll throw it on the TBR pile.  (meaning: kids or fantasy or, best of all, kids' fantasy)   

Power point slides, y'all

That's what I've read today.  I had a very busy day- not just busy for me, but busy for anyone- and I didn't get much homework done.  At my volunteer job, I listened to one of my lectures, following along with the slides & taking notes there.  I'm currently listening to another lecture, and the professor speaking right now reminds me a little of Eugene Levy, with a little bit of a Brooklyn accent thrown in from time to time.  So he'll make a really smart statement with big words, but he slightly mispronounces the words (which he admits) and then I kind of want him to add a "badda-bing!" on the end.  Which would be especially wonderful, being that we're talking about sex.

I did pick up three books from the library, though.  I got another C.S. Lewis book, Surprised by Joy, the next Maria V. Snyder book in her Glass series, Sea Glass, and Redeeming Love, which is a novelization of the story of Hosea and Gomer.  I would like to get this read before Sunday, if it could help me with my teaching.  (Yes, I spoke on Hosea last week, but I'm also speaking about it this week.)


I think I'll write my essays for this week tomorrow, then start hitting the fiction, including Lewis, so I can get ahead for my class. 

Surprise!! It's the first day of school!

I thought I had another week until the summer quarter began, but I was wrong.  I realized I was wrong when I received an e-mail reminding me that payments were due today.  Uh...crap.
No worries on the money, though.  I do a payment system, so I don't need to pay until July. 
On the other hand, I wasn't prepared to start reading for class and figuring out all my online stuff.  This class is all done online, with the lectures (videos, thank goodness) and handouts, message boards, exams, etc all done on a website.  So, I had to go through a boring orientation-type thing, which mostly told me things I could have figured out on my own, but there were a few good points. 

So, I feel a little stressed today, but I think I'm mostly over it.  I was partially feeling scrambled, because it was, "Crap! How am I going to start reading for the C.S. Lewis class? How am I going to finish The UltraMind Solution before it's due in 3 days?  How am I going to spend time on ancestry.com before I have to pay again? AGH!"

Then I calmed myself. I poked around on the message boards and "met" the other people in my class, introduced myself, and then I went for a run.  I will remember that making time to work out always pays off.  After the run and a trip to get fruit & veggies, I am home & calm.  I've started reading for this class, and I'm already digging on it.  I also remind myself that everything doesn't have to be done TODAY.  If I keep with my 3 hours of homework per day regimen, I will be totally fine.  And I also get to read for fun when I budget well like that. 

My class is on issues of gender and sexuality that occur in ministry, and it seems like it's going to be great and right up my alley.  We'll be talking about things that I'm passionate about and that are relevant to my church experience, such as dealing with pastoral indiscretion. 

In the book by the professors, Authentic Human Sexuality, I'm only about 20 pages in (to the wrong edition, grrrr. and there is a difference), but I'm already impressed.  One of the first things they talk about is hermaphroditism and gender assignment at birth, and the need for a space for gender-neutral persons.  Wow.  Not what I expected, even though I go to a liberal school.  I guess I still expected the Christian writers to, I don't know, talk about people cursed by God that we need to pray for. 

Don't worry, I didn't order the wrong edition of the book (I hope).  It's just not here yet, so I'm reading the previews on Amazon & Google books. 

Hasta mañana.

Saturday night

I had 2 parties to attend today, but I was feeling more motivated to work on my Bible study (better term) for tomorrow, so I skipped out.  I also knew, though, that I had to work out.  I'm trying to keep my new motto in mind: Depression can't hit a moving target.  I should have gone to the gym to do some backwards elliptical-ing, but I read to pass the time on that, and I wasn't in the mood to read anything.  I don't have a magazine I'm into right now, I don't have a book I'm salivating over, and I just didn't want to be distracted by anything.  So I took both dogs out for a walk, which was lovely.

In the end, I felt good about my preparations for tomorrow, so I headed to the second party.  We have a pretty low-key approach in our YA group, with a lot of group discussion and an open forum vibe, so I just needed to get my order of operations straightened out.  I'm still new to teaching, so I get a little nervous. 

Also, I didn't end up getting a satisfactory movie clip relevant to Hosea.  I wanted something more surprising and maybe edgy, something about loving in the face of rejection and hatred, but I couldn't figure anything out. I'm stuck with The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, which feels like a cop out.  I mean, I love it, but it's blatantly about Jesus, so using it to represent redemption isn't all that creative. 

Oh, well.  Have an awesome Sunday!  Read your Bible! 
 

Not in the mood, y'all

I have placed my order with Husband's Delivery Service for 2 movies &  a bottle of wine.  We're going to watch Alice in Wonderland, which I fully expect to hate, so I also rented The Time Traveler's Wife, which you know I love, in order to have a back-up.  I didn't want to punish him with Leap Year just yet.  Maybe next week. 

Today I finished reading through Hosea and poked around a little bit on the topic of redemption.  I don't really have an outline or real focus to my thoughts yet.  We've had a laid-back format lately, though, so I could just read through it with everyone and we could discuss.  We'll see.  I'll work more tomorrow, in between a graduation party and a housewarming party. 

Since we also have a movie theme this summer, I have a pile of DVDs on the couch so I can skim through and try to find relevant clips to illustrate my points.  I don't HAVE TO, but it would be nice.

In other news, I brought out some more summer clothes, packed away winter clothes, and worked on putting things away, and I realized that we are so very rich and spoiled.  I was setting myself a small goal, so as to no be overwhelmed with the pile of clothes, so I was counting things I put away.  Usually when I set a tiny goal, I end up going beyond it once I get into actually getting things done.  Today, I put away 70- SEVENTY- items of clothing (not counting socks & underwear) and we still have quite a mountain, plus the things already in drawers and the closet.  Wow.  I have a large bag started already of things to be donated, but maybe I need to have a second, truly ruthless go round through my clothes.  I mean, how many hooded sweatshirts do I really need?  Really?