A serving of seconds, and some recommendations

On Thanksgiving, I rode the motorcycle again, and it was much more successful. Cousin K and I went out for about 20 minutes, and she just led me all over- down rutted hills, over rocks and branches, up other bumpy hills. It was quite awesome. I did well with the shifting, and I was excited, but I was also ready for it to be over. It was strange how my brain was working- I think that some kids are like that with too much stimulation. "This is fun. I want to do it again soon, but let's be done now."

Most of the family went out to the desert to ride on Black Friday, and it sounds like it was a ton of fun, but I was not about to get up at the b.c.o.d. to head out there for a long day with the kids and grandpa. They went to Cabela's at 6am, then went riding. Another time. Although I was willing to embrace my tough-girl feelings and continue with a motorcycle-filled weekend, I opted for a girly-girl day of shopping, dinner, and movies with teenage cousins L & N. That was also lots of fun.

My second second is the the running! I'm a little confused- could be lack of oxygen to my brain while running (it was all diverted to the stitch in my side and my legs), but I may have run a mile tonight on the treadmill. Anyway, I ran for 10 minutes, which is a new record and longer BY FAR than I've ever run before, other than the aforementioned 9-minute, downhill mile. Now that I look at those numbers, I doubt that I ran a mile today, because my sweaty self figured out that I was running around an 11-minute mile while I was going at it. In short (too late)- I'm excited.

You must see: Enchanted
It is surprisingly good, funny, sweet, nice, catchy, etc, etc.
You must listen to: the soundtrack for Across the Universe. I realized how much I like Beatles music, especially as good covers. The lead actor, Jim Sturgess, has a lovely, clear voice extremely reminiscent of Ewan McGregor's. I love the soundtrack for itself (went straight to the store to buy it after giving it a listen online), but it also makes me want to listen to Moulin Rouge, which is my current all-time #1 favorite soundtrack(s) and maybe CD, period. Will it be moving to #2? We'll see.

In other news: both cars died this week. His is fixed, mine not yet. Got to kick-start my scooter, which also made me feel terribly tough. Looking forward to being in MI for Christmas- I think. I'll be very glad to see people and relax in my mom's house, but I don't relish the cold. Oh well.

A weekend of firsts

This past weekend we went to visit the cousins and I ended up doing a couple things I had never done: I ran a mile, and I rode a motorcycle.
Both were exciting in their own ways, but I will say that was happier about the mile. It was mostly downhill, but not entirely, and it was still quite hard. Even when I started the run, I didn't quite think that I would make it, but as I knew I was getting closer to the end, I was able to push past the wanting to puke phase. I was quite delighted, let me tell you. Plus, I did it in only 9 minutes! Someday soon, I'll be running a mile on flat terrain. Yippee!
The motorcycle was successful, in that I didn't fall, but not smooth at all. Even though I know how to drive a manual car, I was unable to really put that knowledge together with my hands and feet on the bike. I'm used to my scooter, which is an automatic and like a bicycle in that both handles are brakes, so I couldn't put it all together and get it straight that I wanted to use one foot and one hand to brake, I forgot to let off the gas when I shifted- which resulted in a cool/scary wheelie thing once, and I kept wanting the clutch to be my rear brake. Argh. I'll practice more this weekend when I go out for the giving of thanks. And I'll wear a helmet, which will make me more comfortable. Don't worry, I wasn't on a road. I was on the hill/compound of the family, on a slow-moving dirtbike.

I ended up leaving Husband-o-mine there to visit for the week while I came home to go to work and school. It's been nice to have the house to myself a little bit, but nothing has felt that different. I'm still crazy busy and, hopefully, I'll manage my time better this long weekend so that I don't just bask in the time off and then feel screwed when I go to class Monday. That's what happened last weekend.

A note to the Slacker's Prince: I'll be seeing you on Christmas, my dear!
Coming up: political thoughts which I have avoided up until now.

Beautiful Fall (more drooling thoughts on California)

It's fall in California, much like it is everywhere else in the northern hemisphere, and it is so beautiful. I love all the red and orange leaves, especially contrasted with leaves that are still green, with a few redwoods standing watch, a lone palm tree once in a while looking at the rest in confusion.

Today I was watching leaves fall from some trees, and it was both cool and sad. It's so strange to see a tree still holding most of its leaves lose so many at one time- How does that happen? How do they know? Why do some give up before others? No, I don't want or need the scientific explanation; I pretty much know it. But watching it happen sort of makes rational explanation irrelevant- there's magic and sentience in the fluttering, gold descent, not just cell disintegration and trapped glucose. I think it would be both an awesome and sad thing to sit under trees and watching while the wind blew off all their leaves in one short time period.

The vineyards in fall are so beautiful. The leaves turn the same range of colors as the trees, and you can have deep crimson, almost purple, leaves right across the street from yellow and orange ones. The hills covered in vines take on a different look and texture, as if they'd changed clothes, and it's sometimes disorienting because I feel like I'm on the wrong road or something because so many different things are standing out than when it's all green.

There was a large fox in front of a vineyard we drove by the other day. I believe it's only the 2nd fox I've ever seen not in a zoo. The first one was on the campus of UM-D, as I was coming out of the library at midnight (during finals) and there was brand-new snow everywhere. The fox ran by and I know this sounds SUPER corny, but it felt like a gift. I think that you know what I'm talking about- there's always something magical about fresh snow at night, especially if you're one of the only people around. That's not something I get to experience anymore, unless I should choose to go to snow in the winter, but the majestic hills and ocean are a fair trade.

Some thoughts I Found

I found a piece of paper in a book yesterday, and I thought it was a reaction to the book Finally Feminist by John Stackhouse, because I have that written at the top of the paper, but upon looking at the amazon page for that book, it looks like I didn't read it but I have it on my TBR list. I'm thinking then, that it is a reaction to either an article I was reading in Christianity Today or to the book A Generous Orthodoxy, which I've mentioned here before. Without editing for grammar or anything, here are my thoughts:

I am (maybe?) post-modern in that I defy category (including p.m.) & old, over-arching definitions or ways of thought, but I do not deny ultimate truth, nor am I relativistic. Sort of like anti-Big Government. I don't need your Big Church or Big Religion. No, we can't grasp Him completely, but that doesn't mean we throw out all discussion and striving for truth. He is infinite and omnipotent- He gave us His word and our minds.

I like finding things like this, because it's nice to see that I do have intelligent thought once in while (hardy har har) but these issues are an ongoing debate/investigation in my head, so finding things like this remind me of moments of clarity and also spur me on to further thought.

Listen Up

If you haven't yet listened to the podcasts at Nuclearity.org I highly suggest that you get on it. The mastermind is Hugh Duncan, a boy (well, man now) that I luuurved for at least 4 years when I was just a wee lass (Jr. & Sr. High) and God has just poured a big ol' bucket of talent out on him.

I suppose that it could most easily be described as a short, Christian, This American Life, but that's not completely fair. It is its own thing. I am consistently amazed by Hugh's insights, the interviews he gets (NT Wright!), and his skill in putting together an entertaining, thoughtful, musical program. His official target is Christian families, especially those who may grow weary of the shiny sameness of Christian radio, TV, etc, but basically, if you enjoy thinking or listening, you'll like at least some of the episodes.

An Answer to Prayer

A few weeks ago, in one of our small group Bible studies, we did an exercise where we went around the room and everyone said two things to describe one person at a time. When the group started describing me, I was trying to will my husband (or anyone, really) into saying "smart". Smart and funny are how I have always defined myself, and what I rely upon to make me valuable or to give me comfort. In the end, no one said that I was smart, but what they did say was amazing- pretty much every person described me as "loving", "welcoming", or something like that.

It took me a couple of hours, but I realized that God had placed right in my lap an answer to prayer. For about 6 years, I have been praying for God to reduce me to love. I want to see people how He does and just let His love come pouring out of me. I've prayed this desperately, not ever knowing if I was getting any closer. Am I completely loving? Hell, no. I'm still the cranky bitch that most of my old friends think of when they hear my name, but I'm way better. I'm acting out love more often, even when I don't feel it- the Holy Spirit is checking my mouth and motivations more often, and I'm not at all the same person I was even just last year.

And because God loves me so much, one of my friends from that group came up to me this past Saturday and told me that if we were to do the exercise again, she would definitely say that I'm smart. ;)

Some Descriptive Words

I'm a born-again, tree-hugging, bilingual, semi-liberal, tv-watching, Bible-thumping, tongue-talking, feminist, dieting, obedient, loving, sarcastic, gay-friendly, poor, pro-family, non-violent, animal-loving, against capital punishment, anti-abortion, unity-seeking, rich, evangelical minded, married, sentimental, romance novel-reading, racing, volunteering, working, seminarian, conflicted, Irish/Finnish/German-American who isn't quite sure what "patriotism" means, at least to me, happy, anti-social, social butterfly, language geek.

What I've learned taking Biblical/Koine Greek

I really love Spanish.

Chubby girl with caffeine, cereal, and index cards*

I often look at my purchases when they're laying on the conveyor belt at the grocery store and wonder what they say about me. I'm happy when I have mostly fruit and vegetables, not so thrilled when I have Coke, cheese x 4, meat x 2, and ice cream. I usually take the time to look at the patrons in front of and behind me, to see what their life looks like. Here's what I saw the other night:

Middle-aged man, gray hair, button shirt, banker type. 1 chunk Parmesan cheese, 1 US Weekly, 10 cans cat food. I don't even have to make up a story about him. It's all just right there.
Young-ish couple, probably on their first date. 2 bottles of wine. They? are clearly going back to his house to do it and continue their banal conversation about how fat Britney is, but she's his "gurl"-all in their stereotypical, California, Valley Girl accents. Please know that they were in no way young enough or ethnic enough to get away with any of their conversation. This was Ken and Barbie.

Do tell! What was your last grocery theme?

*liquid chai, powdered chai, diet coke, regular coke, index cards, store brand honey nut o's. The 1st three beverages were for husband of mine.

Sonoma County Smells Like Poop

Goooooooooo, harvest!

Augustana's "Boston"

I really like this song quite a lot. Part of it is the soothing quality it has and the fact that it talks about California, even if the heroine in the song is tired of California, but what I really appreciate is the quality of the lyrics and the picture they paint. I don't know about you, but I can totally see everything the song is talking about and I can extend the story they tell and actually visualize the girl and what she looks like, how she feels- as if the song is a movie itself. And I'm writing this without having watched the video yet, so I'll see if it fits my vision of the song.

*eta- I just watched the video and it has no story. So just listen to the words or stare at the semi-handsome man playing the piano in the surf.

Celebrities are people, too.

I really do believe this. You may remember when I was saddened by the divorce of Reese & Ryan, and I felt maybe a little stupid about being so invested in them, but I'm here to defend myself! My theory: perhaps I'm a better person than you.

I kid. I just mean that while most people subconsciously tend to turn celebrities into commodities, I guess that I continue to hope that they'll behave like human beings with hearts, souls, and brains. So, when something happens to them, it does disappoint me. I don't want people to hurt- not that I'm saying you do- I'm just one of those heart on my sleeve sort of gals, something which has become more obvious to me of late, but I'll get to that another time.

Anyway, today's sadness is about Owen Wilson. Simply put, suicide breaks my heart and it makes me so sad that he tried to do it. As one who has attempted it, I know some of the thoughts and heart conditions that are probably there, and I don't want anyone to feel like that. I'm sad whenever I hear of anyone killing themselves, but I guess since we think that we know celebrities a little bit- at least a portion of their personalities, my mind tends to think, "No! But he seemed okay!" But what do I know?

Stores that do not build my self-esteem

Sure, like most unskinny girls, I don't love shopping for clothes and looking at myself in the stores, but mall stores and such really aren't the ones that fill me with doubt or loathing. What does that are sporting goods stores and music (as in instruments) stores.

Husband and I have always loved sporting goods stores, even before we did anything remotely athletic. We embraced our poseur status in the past, but even now that we are quasi-athletes, I always feel like I should or could be doing MORE when I go into those stores. I see all the different sports represented or the cycling accoutrements* and I just think of time squandered over the years. I have a struggle every now and then with those feelings and I have to remind myself that it is not at all too late to do these things, and I'm already on the path to new adventures and I just need to be patient and appreciate where I am.

But talk about wasted time- sheesh. I feel basically like pond scum when I go into a music store like we did today. One one hand, you have the instruments that I would love to play- pianos, cellos, heck- I'd take pretty much anything and give it a whirl. But then those wants lead right over to the Other Hand- the instruments I already have and don't practice. I see prettier guitars than mine, song books I'd love to play, orchestral music for my clarinet- and I just feel like I'm wasting an awful lot of what I've been given.

Maybe I need to pack away the computer and TV for a few months. Put them on time locks so that I can only do my homework and check my e-mail once per day. Have an automatic ejector seat built into my recliner when I've sat for too long.

*please pronounce a la francaise, s'il vous plait. Even in your head.

The Bathroom at the Mall

For some reason, it's quite humid and I always seem to go in right after someone has pooped.
I hate that.

Good times, great taste

Last night was Mojito Monday at the home of some guys from church, and it was great fun. As a cheap drunk, I was tipsy after the first delicious beverage, therefore making the participation in karaoke that much easier.
As Seth and I were leaving, I wanted to get a video of the house from the outside just to capture how much fun it is and the happy place I'm in. You could hear the music and everyone singing from across the street and a little way down, and the curtains and front door were open wide so that you could see the crowd of silly people dancing and singing in the living room. Just great.

In other fun news, last weekend after church we went to the home of some newlyweds and watched a movie in their backyard. There were about eight of us, so the boys moved the couch and all the chairs they could find out on the deck. We snuggled under sleeping bags and watched Nacho Libre on a projector screen under the stars. It's not that you couldn't do this in Texas or Michigan, but people just don't seem to do it much, and the weather makes it possible here for pretty much the entire year. After the movie, we sat and stared at the stars for a while- you can see a ton of stars out here. Lovely lovely.

This Saturday, we are learning to rock climb, which will be..great? Yes. Great and fun. I wanted to learn before we go to Yosemite and I have to try in front of a group. This way, I can either be an old pro or choose to not do it!

Random Hooha Thoughts

I haven't posted anything in a while, so I thought that I'd just have a post full of non-sequiturs, if that's alright with you.

*It's interesting how musical tastes change. As I mentioned some months ago, I found myself not settling, but happily leaving the radio on Journey while driving through SF. Well, my CD player was revolting against the heat in Sacramento last week, so I was going through the channels and for the first time EVER, I promise, I left on "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum. I never liked this song, but I guess that you really couldn't get away from it when it came out, because not only did I listen to it, but I knew EVERY WORD. Scary. I blame WUMD and the amount of time I spent sitting in the u-mall skipping classes.

*Heat. Holy cow, am I glad we don't live in the Sacramento area!! Seth has the opportunity to transfer over there, and we very briefly thought about it because we could live by our family, but we decided not to. Our decision was initially based on the fact that we have a great life over here- church, friends, my "jobs", etc. But now I'll add a hearty "No frikkin' way!" due to the heat. The first night I was sleeping there for class, I was so hot in one cousin's room, and so I thought that I'd open the sliding door to get some breeze. Nope. No breeze. No cooler outside than inside. The fact that it really doesn't cool down at night just boggles my brain. Also, it's always about 10 degrees hotter over there. So, I got to drive to class every evening with no a/c in my car in the 95-105 degree heat. Oh, I was sexy. We won't speak of the nearly 3 hour drive from class to home/church on the first Saturday.

*California drivers don't seem to know how to merge. It just isn't in their makeup. Perhaps they don't teach it in driver's ed? Don't get me wrong- things are much nicer here than in Detroit. People in Michigan are angry and aggressive and it's just stressful to drive there, but Californians seem to lack this basic skill, and it leads to giant traffic jams. Whenever there is a popular exit or freeways coming together, it gets really ugly for a while. The drivers just don't seem to be able to grasp two things: you SPEED UP to get on the freeway, and if I want to get over there, and you want to get over here, it SHOULD be a smooth operation!

*My first class in seminary was really awesome. I learned a lot about Israel and my eyes were just opened up to many things. I can read the Old Testament and when they mention cities and roads and kingdoms, I can think, "I know where that is!" Just by having the crudest mental map in my head, the stories themselves make more sense and are more real to me now. I also understand more of the constant turmoil of that land, including the fights still going on.

*Lordy, I love California! If you haven't been yet, wander over to Ringo and look at my recent pictures. There are pics of Donner Lake and Reno (which is Nevada, yes, but also wonderful), and also of our bonfire on the beach with church.

*I cut my hair all off, so I don't look like any of the pictures there. It actually came off in stages, and I was stupid and didn't get pictures of the stages. I was going for something punk-rock, but I think it was more white trash. Now it's girly and pixie-ish, but I have to wear makeup more often or I'll look like a boy. I need to work on the details a bit, because although I looked cute, I also kept reminding myself of Erin Moran. Ooh, scary. Looking at that picture, that's almost exactly what my hair looked like yesterday. Perhaps a tad shorter, more product for messiness, or cutting the curly ones at the neck off.

*Look at my training diary. (there's a link on the left). We ran in a race a couple weeks ago.

*I love Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

*I just ate a chocolate pudding jelly bean and it was pretty good.

Alright, it appears that I'm getting a bit thin on material, so I'll wrap it up. If you read my blog, for the love of Pete, leave a comment!

No, really. (More about Harry Potter)

I CANNOT get over how much the significance of Sirius's death was trampled. In reading the books, we know and love these characters more than you can by only watching the movies, so if you haven't read them, I don't think you can understand just how much we were all invested in Harry actually having Sirius as his godfather. A real family member who loves him. We were always just waiting for the day when Harry could go live with him and finally be happy.
This is why it was so mortifying when he died. I think that many of us yelled, "No!" when we read it and, like Harry, were really hoping that something could be done to change that fact.

I don't think that the movies built up this relationship enough, and this latest movie, especially, did little more than throw a few bones towards the concept. The one scene was touching when Harry finally saw Sirius and his face lit up and they hugged, with Sirius giving some throwaway line about them being a family after all this is over, but that was about it. They loved each other very much! They meant THE WORLD to one another and represented very heavy things- Sirius's vindication; the child of his beloved, betrayed friends; a family chosen for him where he is accepted and justified (for both of them); a real connection to his parents for Harry; and not least of all, a chance for a semi-normal life. So why is it that, as my husband says, Harry "handled that pretty well" when Sirius died? It was so quick and wimpy, and they discarded Harry's reaction from the book, so that we were left with the impression that it was a fast, painless death, and Harry quickly moved on from it.

I'll repeat my feelings from my last post: argh!!!!!

Order of the Caca

We just got back from seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and I must say that I am sorely disappointed. I would say that with about an hour left in the movie, a sadness started settling into my heart about how they were botching the movie.

You see, OotP is probably my favorite of the books. Although it was very hard to deal with Harry's attitude the first time around, it all made sense. The book mattered and important things happened in it- things that were life-changing for Harry and all of his friends. The movie, on the other hand, was not important at all. It treated these events flippantly and the movie has none of the tone, tension, or import of the book.

I know that books are something special and that I shouldn't expect movies to live up to the books. I'm aware of this, but that doesn't stop me from getting my hopes up. I love these books so much, and when movies are being made from them, it is natural to be excited. All the things we've all imagined and enjoyed, the characters we love, are almost becoming real! That's why it's so disheartening when they get it wrong. It's as if someone told me they had a picture of my grandma that I never saw, and when I saw it finally, I had to hang my head and say, "That looks nothing like her! You've got it all wrong!"

I guess that I was too hopeful after the Goblet of Fire. I have come, in time, to like the Prisoner of Azkaban, but when I saw GoF in the theater, I was so excited. Even though they had to cut out a lot, I felt like they had finally gotten it right. OotP, on the other hand, just has too much important stuff to cut out. They just couldn't do it with cutting so much. I mean, if friggin' Pirates of the Caribbean 3 (electric jamboree?) can be almost 3 hours long, why can't this movie? They're not going to lose their fan base if the movie is a bit longer!

Spoilers ahead! Specific Complaints (not artfully written):

*The house is sooooo important! And the things that go on there. What the heck?
*Harry's brattiness, while refreshing in it's absence, is still important. It matters for Harry as a character that he wouldn't practice his occulemency. He knew it was important, and his teenage doofus self wouldn't practice. And he paid for it. My husband, who hasn't read the books, actually just thought that all that was about occulemency being hard. Yes, it is, but that's not all it was.
*Why have Luna in the movie at all if you're not going to actually have her do anything?
*Always nice to see less of Malfoy. (not a complaint. I'm throwing a praise in.)
*THE BEST PART OF THE BOOK (okay, or maybe just my favorite) WAS THE SHEER VOLUME OF FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!! Where was that in the movie? Argh.
*Um, swamp? Hello? Argh argh.
*Prophecy and Neville?
*They completely slaughtered the power of Sirius's death. Flushed it right down the tubes.

Mostly my complaint is with the tone of the movie versus the book. I think that they were trying too hard to make this a children's movie, and that killed the spirit. And yet, they tried to sprinkle the darkness in here and there. It didn't work.

/END RANT/

Things I did today (which you may not have)

Used a port-a-potty
Rode on a boat
Ate expensive chocolate
Rode on a subway
Saw the sunset on water

Mixed Messages Much?

As I was walking through the mall last night, I noticed a group of teenagers standing in front of one of those rotating billboard things- you know, where the pictures are on a reel or something and roll up to the next one? So, the first image I see is a picture of a lovely little girl, book for a brain, with the well-known phrase "A Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste". Cool.

What is the next image? This movie ad.

Right away, it just put a sad, sick feeling in my stomach. The question that I wanted to shout to no one in particular was, "Which is it? Which image do you want?" It can't be both.

Media/Hollywood/the Machine/The Man/.... wants to encourage children to learn, to be pure, to be brave and believe they can do great things-especially girls- but then they basically get the message that once they're 15 or so, they are objects. They are possessions of men, things to look at, variables to be controlled.

I pray for the parents out there. I pray that they will find the right words and attitudes to impress upon their children- especially boys- that treating people like objects is not okay. That it dehumanizes us all and denies what God has made us to be. And here I'm not only speaking to the objectification of girls, but also to the whole concept of these gruesome new batch of movies. Why exactly is torture so hip right now? Don't give me some psychological schtick about the war and how the art is simply reflecting reality. Teenagers aren't watching the news; aren't responding to it like that.

These are symptoms. The movies, the enjoyment of grisly shit, the actual torture going on in the world. Symptoms. We are dehumanizing one another on a daily basis and it leaks out in these ugly and horrific ways.

I'd rather encourage the little girl with books on the brain, but I guess that's just me.
(Yes. abrupt ending. but i was in danger of going on a rant that I'm not prepared to finish right now.)
Read this book for the seeds of some of these thoughts.

Still to come: thoughts after finishing Six Feet Under, and my time with my girls.